What Is the Ideal Way to Find a Spouse in the West?
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What Is the Ideal Way to Find a Spouse in the West?

Questioner

Tasneem

Reply Date

Sep 07, 2019

Question

Could you please tell me the ideal way to find a spouse (wife or husband) in the West, or how did the Prophet’s Companions find their wives?

Mufti

Answer


What Is the Ideal Way to Find a Spouse in the West?

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.


In this fatwa:

To find a spouse in the West, try to do the following:

1- You may attend various Islamic gatherings at Islamic centers or in mosques.

2- You may also make use of brothers and sisters who may introduce you to prospective candidates.

3- You may do some kind of correspondence with candidates who have advertised their names in the Islamic magazines.

Once you have chosen some, you may inquire about them from people who are reliable and trustworthy in order to determine their illegibility and integrity.


In responding to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:

As for the ways of finding a spouse in the West, I would recommend the following:

1- You may attend various Islamic gatherings at Islamic centers or in mosques and you may engage in business like conversation with the members of the opposite sex, without being isolated with them.

2- You may also make use of brothers and sisters who may introduce you to prospective candidates and talk to them under supervision.

3- You may do some kind of correspondence with candidates who have advertised their names in the Islamic magazines.

What Is the Ideal Way to Find a Spouse in the West? - About Islam

During the time of the Prophet’s Companions, they used to meet people sometimes in the presence of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), and sometimes in other circumstances.

For instance, on a number of occasions women used to come offering themselves as candidates for marriage. Accordingly, some men would accept to get married to them.

This shows that the Companions were very simple and undemanding about choosing their partners so long as they had the basic religious and character requirements.

In this society, generally speaking, we tend to put so many conditions and requirements that are not essential from an Islamic perspective.

In Islam, the basic thing we should consider in marriage is religion and character. All other requirements we can compromise.

The Companions also used to make other people introduce them to possible candidates. They would see each other and occasionally talk with them in order to determine their eligibility for marriage.

In conclusion, you may choose any of the methods in order to find prospective candidates.

Once you have chosen some, you may inquire about them from people who are reliable and trustworthy in order to determine their illegibility and integrity.

You are allowed to ask about their past in order to find out the essential points reflecting their character.

If a person has a bad past and he or she has changed and improved his or her life Islamically after having repented their sins, you are allowed to marry them.

In this case, you are not allowed to nag them about their past after marriage.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.




About Sheikh Ahmad Kutty

Sheikh Ahmad Kutty is a Senior Lecturer and an Islamic Scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

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