Father and Husband Are Fighting: What Should She Do?

12 August, 2020
Q As-salamu `alaykum. I am torn between my father and my husband. A couple of years ago, my husband and my father had a wonderful relationship, but after my husband caused him some loss in his business, my father no longer likes him and they do not see each other. My father accuses my husband of many things regarding the failure of the business venture and the rejection of his visa application. I just do not know where it will end. Please tell me what I should do.


Wa `alaykum as-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

In this fatwa:

1- The wife should strike an equitable balance between her marital duties and family relationships.

2- The wife is not to side with either her father or husband for wrong actions. It is her duty to be just and considerate to the whole issue equitably.

3- This will save her from many problems that may arise from both sides.

In responding to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:

I can understand your dilemma. But the difficulty, I hope, can be lessened if you act according to your best Islamic conscience. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Consult your conscience!” (Ahmad)

In other words, as a Muslimah you must not compromise the path of truth and justice. Allah teaches us in the Quran, {O you who believe! Be steadfast witnesses for Allah in equity, and let not hatred of any people make you swerve from justice. Deal justly; that is nearer to God-fearing. Fear Allah. Allah is Aware of what you do.} (Al-Maidah 5:8)

So ask yourself: Is your father justified in suspecting your husband and considering him responsible for the failure of the business venture? Was he definitely responsible for the rejection of his visa application?

If there are valid grounds for such a conclusion, then you should let your husband know about that and confront him with this issue. Then, he must definitely assume responsibility for his actions. If, however, there are no such grounds for suspecting him, then you should not side with your father against him.

It is important for us to know that it is not allowable to harbor suspicions about anyone without valid evidence. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, “Beware of harboring suspicions of people, for suspicion can be the worst of lies!” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

If your husband has done wrong, being a God-fearing person, he should admit his mistake, apologize to your father, and ask forgiveness of Allah. If your father has suffered financial loss because of his actions, he should compensate him as best he can. That is the only way to deal with this issue in an honest and Islamic way.

Your duty is not to side with anyone for wrong actions. When we do what is right and strive our best to please Allah and seek His help in this, Allah will certainly come to our aid. Allah says, {Whoever fears Allah, He will appoint a way out for him. Allah is sufficient for the person who puts his trust in Him.} (At-Talaq 65:2–3)

Allah Almighty knows best.

Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.