Difficulties of Getting Married: Any Advice?
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Difficulties of Getting Married: Any Advice?



Reply Date

Nov 02, 2018


As-salamu `alaykum. I have just passed my mid-twenties and I am not yet married. I am a citizen of a very developed country. Many people tell me to go to my parents' country and get married to someone there but I am sure that if anyone marries me from there they will be using me to obtain the nationality. Therefore, I tell them that I am depending on Allah the Almighty and, in sha’ Allah, He will answer my prayers. I have a large family and am too embarrassed to meet men from matrimonial websites and things like that, because I fear rejection and also because if my family knows, they will tease me for life. However, I made du`aa’ and have a lot of faith. Am I on the right path? Thanks for giving me the chance to ask my questions.



Getting Married

Wa `alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

In this fatwa:

1- Your question indicates that you are seeking halal and therefore, it is our advice to put your full trust in Allah the Almighty and seek His help by means of duaa (supplication) and istighfar (asking Allah for forgiveness).

2- You can also seek the help of the imam of a nearby Islamic Center and righteous Muslim sisters in your community to get a good proposal.

In her response to your question, the prominent Muslim scholar and Da`iyah, Zeinab Mostafa, states:

First of all, I pray to Allah the Almighty that He gives you the righteous husband you are looking for.

Dear daughter, you should know very well that you are searching for what is halal and that you are not seeking the haram. You should try to attend social gatherings, family gatherings, participate in social activities in the mosque and in the community so that people get to know you closely.

This might help you in your quest for marriage. There is nothing wrong in asking for marriage and there should never be embarrassment in this regard because you are not asking for anything that is haram.

There is nothing wrong if you think you are getting older and chances of marriage are lessening, that you use any of the Islamic matrimonial services online, provided that you take all the precautions and follow the right procedures.

You cannot depend on the Internet when deciding on this major decision in your life. You have to agree and meet in person in the presence of your family to get to know each other and then proceed with the marriage arrangements.

If you are rejected, that is all right; consider it that Allah the Almighty does not want this marriage to happen. As for being teased, you should not worry about that and make sure that you choose your husband carefully.

Allah Almighty knows best.

Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.

About Zeinab Mustafa

Prominent Muslim scholar and Da`iyah

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