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Can Parents Force Me to Marry a Certain Girl?

10 September, 2019
Q As-salamu `alaykum. My parents got me engaged to a girl in Pakistani a year and a half ago. They did not give me the chance to see her before the engagement. When I saw her picture after the engagement, I did not like her. I still don't have feelings for her even after talking to her through the phone for a long time. However, my mother loves her. Moreover, since 4 months I like a girl here in Belgium and want to marry her. The problem is that she is about to get married against her will within a week in Pakistan. So our situation is quite the same. We want to end our engagements with our fiancés but our families are afraid of "bad reputation". They don't care about us being not happy if we marry our fiancés who we don’t like from day one. There is a trade-off. If we opt for our own interests by marrying, then our families will be hugely disappointed and hurt and vice versa. What do you suggest?


Wa `alaykum as-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

In this fatwa:
1- Generally speaking, in Islam there is no force in marriage at all, neither for the boy or the girl.

2- In your case, the best solution is to softly and kindly talk to your parents trying to convince them of your viewpoint as it is you, not them, who will marry, and it is your own life.

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Responding to your question, Dr. Muhammad Salama, PhD in Islamic Studies in English and an Assistant Professor at the Faculty of Islamic Science, Al-Madinah International University (Mediu), states,

You should approach your parents kindly and remind them of the bad consequences of marrying a woman you do not like and how this may cause you to lead a miserable life and family troubles that affect your future.

You may also seek the help of other family members or friends to exercise some influence on your parents and convince them. The girl also may do the same with her parents.

Allah Almighty knows best.

Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.