Answer
Answer:
As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum,
Thank you so much for reaching out to us. May Allah (swt) reward you for seeking counsel on behalf of your best friend, and may Allah (swt) grant you both happiness, health, and highest states of faith, Ameen.
Firstly, I would advise you to find a time to talk to your friend about what exactly bothers him. Do you meet him often at home? Or is your friendship limited to school? If your friendship is limited to school, I would suggest you to invite yourself over to his house and let him know of your concerns about him and his well-being. Perhaps his decision to step back from social media is not entirely a source of concern. However, you cannot be sure of the reasons behind his decision, unless and until you talk to him and find out of the exact reason behind his apparent loneliness.
Excessive use of social media does more harm than good
Personally, I think there is nothing wrong with exempting oneself from excessive or even moderate usage of social media. Social media, if used solely as means of wasting time, is detrimental both for the mind and the body. In fact, research studies have shown that those who spend more time on social media sites such as Facebook were more depressed than those who spent little or negligible time. Over use of social media is a huge distraction for kids and adults alike. It weakens all relationships, be it marital or parents and children. The time which should be spent connecting with family members is instead wasted following things which have no benefit whatsoever.
Strengthen relationships
Social isolation is not the solution to any problem. Therefore, if you feel that the reason behind his isolation is negative, you must make sure that you get his parents involved. Kids who are close to their parents, especially their mothers, do not fall prey to such situations. However, if you notice that the relationship between mother and son, or even father and son, is not close, perhaps, if he has a sibling, ask them to intervene. Often times, many youth who are mentally depressed or disturbed by any situation resort to complete silence and social isolation, making others genuinely concerned.
Secondly, his decision to start online schooling, in my opinion, may not be as bad as you think. If he feels that school, or some of his colleagues, are becoming a source of distraction for him and are causing depression, then taking a break from such an atmosphere is actually a good practice.
Tell him to not be sad
Regardless of his condition, he must not confine himself to just his home and work. He absolutely needs to get social through other means. You must consider encouraging him to participate in other extra-curricular activities.
If his social isolation is stemming from depression and sadness as a result of some trial or hardship he has recently faced, you need to let him know of the wisdom behind his current situation in the light of Islam. You need to let him know that his trials and the hardships that he is currently undergoing are a blessing from Allah (swt). They are either expiations for the sins he previously committed or they are a means of raising one’s degree in Allah’s (swt) sight.
There is a famous saying, “A calm sea never made a skilled sailor.” Therefore, if your friend is feeling down or low as a result of the trails he has faced, remind him that they are there as a blessing from Allah (swt).
Next, I must tell you that a true believer should never feel frustrated although it is human nature to despair at the slightest change. The feeling of sadness will only manifest itself under our control. If we let sadness subside and bring out the positive side to an unhappy event, then we will surely not dwell in sadness. Sadness also drives a believer away from having true faith and will hinder productivity in all aspects of life.
Allah (swt) says in the Quran,
“O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.” (2:153)
To achieve emotional calmness and patience, pray often to Allah (swt). Call on Him (swt) often. Use his names to glorify Him. There is a solution for every problem in the world in the Quran, be it physical, emotional or psychological.
Loneliness is not a solution
You have to let him know that loneliness is not the solution. He would rationally have to face his fears. This does not imply that he would need to confront every single situation which rendered him unhappy. But he needs to overcome the unhappiness through other means.
Loneliness and depression leads to an increased mortality risk comparable to smoking, and is twice as dangerous as obesity. In addition, it also impairs immune function and leads to inflammation, which can eventually lead to arthritis, type II diabetes, and heart diseases. Loneliness is dangerous than it seems. On the other hand, meaningful social connection is an antidote to many of the potential health problems.
May Allah (swt) help you and your friend,
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