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I’m Fed Up with My Irresponsible Muslim Husband

11 May, 2017
Q I am a Christian who started seeing a Muslim man who talked me to get married. He did not feel guilt talking to me. I knew the importance of marriage in Islam and I agreed as I thought I love him. We don't live together. Now am going through hard times at work and at home. I am also raising my child alone (from my previous marriage) so I am pretty stressed right now as I have no one to rely on. My Muslim husband is much older than me and hasn't achieved much in his life; hence, he can't support me financially. And seeing that my feelings fading as in my opinion men should be able to take responsibility to look after their women. When we got married, I haven't received any money that a husband is supposed to offer to his new wife. He said that wife who doesn't ask a lot of money is a better wife. So now I have to work extra hard and be stressed about. We under threat of becoming homeless and he is over sensitive about our relationship. I can't even get a grip to see him. I am deeply hurt. He does try to offer this and that but these are just words. I feel deeply ashamed. I really need words of wisdom.



As-Salamu ‘Aleikom dear sister,

Thank you for writing in with your most important question. You stated that you are a Christian woman who got married to your Muslim husband because he didn’t want to feel guilty about talking to you. You also said that you understood its importance in Islam and you agreed to it because you thought that you loved him.

I’m kind of curious as to how long you guys have been together. You didn’t mention that. How long are you talking and how long have you been actually married? I am asking this because sometimes many Muslim men will get married just so they can talk to a woman and have sex…

Kindly listen to the audio below in which our counselor, sister Aisha Muhammad-Swan, replies your question.

In the response, you will learn about:

– Things you must do before getting married

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– The importance of knowing your and your spouse’s rights & duties in marriage

– How to protect and secure your marriage

– Communication in a marriage




Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

More from Sister Aisha Muhammad-Swan

I’m Scared in This Hyper-Sexualized Society

What to Do with an Introvert Husband Who is Not Ready for Kids?


About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.