20 February, 2023
Q
Salaam. I am 20 years old and I have been married to someone 15 years older than me. I only partially agreed to this marriage because of the intense psychological pressure from my family. I couldn’t take it as I was really young.
I hate my husband now.
We have zero compatibility and there is no topic that I can talk to him about. He considers me and all my opinions childish and never takes them seriously. He has even declared me to all of our families as an 'incompetent' wife. Although Allah knows I tried my best.
I tried really hard to be a good wife. Moreover, I hate his touch. I can’t hold hands with him without an inward coiling reflex. I have tried to like him. I pretended it for a long time. But I cannot do this anymore. Please help.
I hate my husband now.
We have zero compatibility and there is no topic that I can talk to him about. He considers me and all my opinions childish and never takes them seriously. He has even declared me to all of our families as an 'incompetent' wife. Although Allah knows I tried my best.
I tried really hard to be a good wife. Moreover, I hate his touch. I can’t hold hands with him without an inward coiling reflex. I have tried to like him. I pretended it for a long time. But I cannot do this anymore. Please help.
Answer
Salam Alaikum,
In this counseling video, you will learn:
You can find hadeeth about sahaabah divorcing each other. So, it might be an option for you if you feel there is no joy or happiness in your marriage that is worth fighting for at harder times.
Learn more about each other; do something that is new, something out of your comfort zone.
Is it really hatred you feel? He might have positive qualities and you just simply do not know how to relate to him.
Ask some tough questions from yourself.
Think about how you could communicate with him differently so that you feel closer to each other.
Aboutislam and Megan Wyatt’s own site has many sources that could be helpful for you to improve your marriage.
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