28 September, 2022
Q
I am a 42-year-old convert woman and recently got married to a 26-year-old Muslim man. Initially, we got along so well and got to know each other for a few months before deciding to get married. Alhamdulillah, I was very happy after we got married and he was too.
He is a very patient and a God-conscious person. He has taught me and my children a lot of things, made sure we all prayed on time, and read Qur'an regularly. I already had three kids from my past marriage and we all were a happy family.
We were married for a few months when we started having misunderstandings and arguments (regarding Islam) occasionally. He got emotional and we both ended up crying for hurting each other. We didn't communicate well. That's when I realized that I had made a mistake marrying a man with a big age difference.
I tried to tell him indirectly we were incompatible and should get a divorce, but he used to console me saying everything would be all right. I am just sad about the whole situation and have decided to divorce. He doesn't want to leave me, but I think this is the best decision for both of us. Please advise.
He is a very patient and a God-conscious person. He has taught me and my children a lot of things, made sure we all prayed on time, and read Qur'an regularly. I already had three kids from my past marriage and we all were a happy family.
We were married for a few months when we started having misunderstandings and arguments (regarding Islam) occasionally. He got emotional and we both ended up crying for hurting each other. We didn't communicate well. That's when I realized that I had made a mistake marrying a man with a big age difference.
I tried to tell him indirectly we were incompatible and should get a divorce, but he used to console me saying everything would be all right. I am just sad about the whole situation and have decided to divorce. He doesn't want to leave me, but I think this is the best decision for both of us. Please advise.
Answer
In this counseling answer, you will learn:
• Age should not be an issue. The Prophet also married wives that were much younger than him such as Aisha.
• There are many other differences besides age that come into marriage play a role in having difficulties such as different cultures.
• Create things in common and work towards a common goal. This creates mutual understanding and good communication.
• Think of what you already have in common and strengthen them.
• Work on these things first before thinking of divorce.