Husband Raises His Hand on Me; Shall I Leave?

04 January, 2022
Q Assalamualaikum,

My husband has good qualities and tries to make me happy in many ways, but he sometimes raises his hands against me, and I fight back because I will not allow myself to be bullied. He always has an excuse when I mention attending school together as husband and wife. We have a son who is studying hafiz (memorizing Quran) and two smaller boys that will follow in sha’ Allah.

We do make salaah, yet there is much more we must do to keep them steadfast and to guide them. My husband will never suggest tahajjud salaah or nafl salaah as a family. If I don’t remind him to listen to our son reciting, then he doesn’t bother.

We, as parents, need to lead our children the way Allah ordered us to. I feel that sometimes I just want to take my kids and live on our own and raise them in a way so that Allah will be pleased with all of us. Help me through the mercy of Allah SWT to do and say the right thing, in sha’ Allah.


Salam Aleikom,

In this counseling answer, you will learn:

Please talk to someone that your husband raises his hand on you.

You must make sure you and your kids are in safe.

Involve your father, your brother, or the imam.

Leave the issue of what he is doing religiously right now and focus on the problem that he raises his hand on you.

Seek marriage counseling.

Inspire him with a loving way to become a better Muslim.

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About Megan Wyatt
Megan Wyatt is the founder of Wives of Jannah where she offers training programs, live workshops, and relationship coaching for wives and couples. She is a certified Strategic Intervention coach with specialized certifications for working with women and marital relationships and has been coaching and mentoring Muslims globally since 2008. She shares her passion for Islamic personal development in her Passionate Imperfectionist community. She is a wife and homeschooling mother with four children residing in Southern California.