10 November, 2020
Q
Asalaamu alaikum.
We’ve been married for 5 years. I’ve always been very independent and did everything myself. Never asked for help. That was my biggest mistake. Now we’ve got 3 children the chores are more and harder. Especially with a screaming newborn.
I’m on maternity leave and my husband works 12-hour shifts. I get that he is tired after a long day but I’m tired too. I do the night feeds and then deal with the older two (4 years old and 22 months old) plus the newborn every day.
When my husband is off, he prefers spending half of his day sleeping and the other half out with friends. He’s started going to shisha places too with these friends. I’ve told him many times how I dislike this but his replies are “I’m stressed and this keeps me calm”. Erm, I’m stressed too but you don’t see me going to shisha places, SubhanaAllah! Not that I’d want to anyway.
My question is, what are my rights upon him? How can I get him to help around and drop this behavior? We’re both 34 so not very young and stupid to be starting this. I’m on the verge of asking for a divorce. What do you advise? JazaakumAllah Khair in advance.
We’ve been married for 5 years. I’ve always been very independent and did everything myself. Never asked for help. That was my biggest mistake. Now we’ve got 3 children the chores are more and harder. Especially with a screaming newborn.
I’m on maternity leave and my husband works 12-hour shifts. I get that he is tired after a long day but I’m tired too. I do the night feeds and then deal with the older two (4 years old and 22 months old) plus the newborn every day.
When my husband is off, he prefers spending half of his day sleeping and the other half out with friends. He’s started going to shisha places too with these friends. I’ve told him many times how I dislike this but his replies are “I’m stressed and this keeps me calm”. Erm, I’m stressed too but you don’t see me going to shisha places, SubhanaAllah! Not that I’d want to anyway.
My question is, what are my rights upon him? How can I get him to help around and drop this behavior? We’re both 34 so not very young and stupid to be starting this. I’m on the verge of asking for a divorce. What do you advise? JazaakumAllah Khair in advance.
Answer
Salam Aleikom,
In this video, you will learn:
- Useful techniques to motivate your husband to help with the chores
- the importance of together time after children
- the importance of self-time
- the power of nice words and appreciation
- The Prophet’s example in helping in the house
Salam,
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