Is it permissible for my husband to use the silent treatment on me and block my access to our home before divorce proceedings have commenced? I married my husband by only earlier this year, and although we had a lot of happy moments, we also faced challenges.
I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression which resulted in my husband asking me to delay moving to his city until I get better. I have always been a good wife; cooking, cleaning and surprising him with romantic gestures and encouraging him to pray and visit the mosque.
My husband has trust issues and is constantly accusing me of things I haven’t done and threatening me with divorce if I fail to confess. Most recently, he accused me of zina (adultery), and used the fact that I was in an extreme state of panic to blow the situation out of proportion and manipulate me into agreeing with him.
The situation became too much for me and I was so unwell from the trauma that I was admitted into A&E and told by the psychiatrist that I was in no sound mind. I learnt a few days ago that my husband had left me at the hospital and asked for a divorce.
It’s been two weeks now and I have not signed anything, I am unable to defend myself or travel to his city to speak to the imam due to my poor health, and my depression has gotten worse to the point where I am unable to work.
As a revert, I do not know what my rights are under Islam and I have no wali (guardian) to act on my behalf. Despite what he has done I love him dearly and I pray we can reconcile.
Please advise me on what to do. Thank you.
In this counseling answer, you will learn:
• Marriage needs to be based on trust and respect.
• Talk to your imam, even over the phone, to ask about your rights as a wife.
• Use your common sense first before asking about your rights. Ask yourself: is kindness toward the wife is expected from a husband?
• The apology itself and saying “I love you” are not enough for a behavior to change. Love has to be translated into action that shows care.
• Your husband needs to get professional help as well.
• Stand up for yourself. Set conditions for reconciliation.