Career vs. My Wife: Whom to Choose?

17 October, 2019
Q Assalam Alaikum. I am currently working at a prominent university as a lecturer in surgery. I have a permanent position there. The university is located in a small city. My wife is also a pediatrician. She has finished her studies, however, she can't find a proper job in my city. I wish to study further and move forward to a bigger place myself. However, the dreams and expectations of my family and my parents are not in favor of quitting my current job.

My wife has also had a rough time adjusting to my family. She has her difference in opinion on these matters. Now quitting here and going to a temporary position elsewhere in a place where both of us are able to stay together and serve humanity as doctors is a solution I am left with.

Her life after marriage has been tough especially since she couldn't be with me. I am at a crossroads of deciding to say no and emotionally hurt my parents or say no to my wife who has been exhausted to the extent that she says she wants to separate if I can't consider her place of choice. How am I supposed to decide in this situation in the light of Islam?


Assalamu Aleikom,

In this counseling answer, you will learn:

• What to do when your parents are pressuring you

• The importance of making decisions together with your wife

• How to make decisions in a conflicting situation


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About Megan Wyatt
Megan Wyatt is the founder of Wives of Jannah where she offers training programs, live workshops, and relationship coaching for wives and couples. She is a certified Strategic Intervention coach with specialized certifications for working with women and marital relationships and has been coaching and mentoring Muslims globally since 2008. She shares her passion for Islamic personal development in her Passionate Imperfectionist community. She is a wife and homeschooling mother with four children residing in Southern California.