Q Salam Aleikom.

I have previously written into this service and found it most helpful, alhamdulillah. My current situation is: my husband is unwilling to move out of his family home whom he shares with his four brothers and a sister in law and two children from his eldest brother’s marriage.

I have many concerns about living in such a home. I have lived alone for the most part of my life and living with in-laws have been a huge adjustment and I still don’t feel as though I am at home. This is affecting my mental health and my working capability due to all the stress it’s causing. I do not feel I have a marriage as I do not feel free with my husband.

I have my own flat which he refuses to move into purely because he “does not want too” and this is the only reason he gives me when I discuss this as an option. I have urged him to think about our marriage and what could better it. I feel a woman makes a home there cannot be more than one woman controlling a house. I have said if I am not comfortable and this takes a toll on my health then I am in no shape to be a good wife, a mother inshallah and also just a functional human as I have had to time off work with stress.

I want a stable home with my husband where I can raise my children inshallah. I want to have a baby but only when we are ready emotionally and I cannot say that we are.

He has said he doesn’t want me, he has said I am pressurizing him to move out and he will never do this for me. He wants to leave me instead. He has said many awful things about me and I just don’t know what else I can do. I do not want to suffer in a house i feel uncomfortable with so many people. I want a marriage.

Please advise.