Q I was in a relationship with someone for about a year. We weren’t necessarily “engaged” per se, but her family knew that we were talking. I’m broke and have no job. Alhamdulillah, I’m studying Islam now in Atlanta, GA, and I’ve gotten back on my feet. And I credit like 90% of all the good that’s happened to me over the past year to her.

The problem is, I kept thinking this was too good to be true, so I basically sabotaged the relationship. I also did not have husne thann and stupidly concluded her father was being a duyooth because he wasn’t monitoring our conversations. Whenever I tried to contact him, he kept telling me to talk to his daughter and see what she had to say. Moreover, whenever she would talk to her parents about what she ought to do, they always asked her what she wanted. I mistook this for him not caring, instead of him just giving his daughter a choice. I feel so stupid for that.

Basically, where we are now is we’re talking again, but she’s gotten tired of me flip-flopping and breaking things off (we basically broke things off at least twice: once from her and then once from me). She thinks that I just want her back because I lost her; and while that may partially be true, it’s not the complete picture.

I’m way more confident now than when we were last talking. I also started talking to other sisters after we broke things off last and began to realize how much better she was than most people. I also personally don’t want to have to go into the effort and hassle of trying to get to know someone again.