My mom began to bring in past events relating to her in-laws (according to her they don't treat her well so she doesn't like them). My dad got really angry as well and began shouting. It continued for about an hour.
Since then they both have not spoken a word to each other. What really worries me is that my family has an airplane trip coming up in a few months that I have been looking forward to, and I am getting hints from the way my parents are talking to me that they do not wish to go anymore.
I have tried praying to Allah, removing myself from worldly things such as not listening to music and not watching movies. However, nothing has worked and it's been more than a week now.
I'm beginning to lose hope because it seems that this will go on forever. It really hurts me to see them doing this. Please advise me on what I should do in Sha' Allah. JazakAllah Khair.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
• Your role is to continue to be a good son and help them when they ask and keep praying for Allah (swt) to unite their hearts.
• You are extra sensitive to them getting along because you are worried about the upcoming family trip.
• Sometimes things do not happen because Allah (swt) is protecting us from harm. Be patient, continue to be a good person and son and watch and see what happens.
As-Salaam ’Alaikum brother,
Firstly, it is very sweet of you to have such concerns about your parent’s well being. I understand it is not easy to see them in a rough patch. However, there are a few things you should understand a young man:
Couples will tend to disagree and it is quite normal for conflicts to arise from time to time between married folks. This does not mean they do not love each other or that they do not love you.
A marriage is a relationship between two people with love, common ground, and differences. From time to time, differences turn into conflicts and with humility, sincerity, and communication any problem between two people can be solved.
In sha’ Allah they will work it out on their own and you should not feel responsible for their affairs.
Your role is to continue to be a good son and help them when they ask and keep praying for Allah (swt) to unite their hearts.
Your efforts to become a better Muslim are a beautiful approach and know that God is Most Generous and this will not be unmet with the return from God.
Check out this counseling video:
Your parents will probably not stop “talking forever” because this rarely happens in a marriage. I believe you are extra sensitive to them getting along because you are worried about the upcoming family trip.
Be aware that just as you would like the trip to go smoothly, I am sure your parents feel the same thing and will work things out beforehand in sha’ Allah.
A few months are a long time, and if the trip is already set, it is likely that it will happen. If not, always remember that Allah (swt) knows best.
Sometimes things do not happen because Allah (swt) is protecting us from harm. Be patient, continue to be a good person and son and watch and see what happens.
Salam,
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