Answer
In this counseling answer:
“Your mom may be angry and hurt for awhile, but her reaction may be the same even if you waited until your studies were completed. As mothers do know their daughters, your mom probably already knows you have reverted to Islam anyhow and is just waiting for your confirmation. Perhaps her reaction will surprise you, and she will be reluctantly accepting. Make du’aa’ to Allah before you tell her (if you decide to) and ask that He grants you ease and your mother’s acceptance of your reversion.”
As-Salamu ‘Alaykum sister,
Thank you for writing us. From what I understand dear sister, yes, things are very difficult in some parts of India for Muslims. While it may hurt your mother emotionally that you are Muslim, it is recommended in sha’ Allah that you do tell her so that you do not live a double life. Telling her will enable you to pray and live as a Muslim, even if it means that only your mom will know, depending on the political environment.
Your mom may be angry and hurt for awhile, but her reaction may be the same even if you waited until your studies were completed. As mothers do know their daughters, your mom probably already knows you have reverted to Islam anyhow and is just waiting for your confirmation. Perhaps her reaction will surprise you, and she will be reluctantly accepting. Make du’aa’ to Allah before you tell her (if you decide to) and ask that He grants you ease and your mother’s acceptance of your reversion. As you and your mom love each other very much and seem to have a close relationship, perhaps this will outweigh any religious/cultural belief systems to wish she subscribes.
With that being said, I suggest this only if there is no danger to you or your family. While I do not know where in India you live, I know some areas are dangerous for Muslims. According to The Muslim Observer “As Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi maintains his silence over the recent controversy on Hindu conversions, Muslims in the sub-continent feel vulnerable with hardcore Hindu groups holding such ceremonies to target minorities in different parts of the country.”; and “the government must take a strong stand against communal forces. Narendra Modi should issue a statement so that Muslims may feel more secure. His silence on controversial issues creates suspicion about his intentions”. With this understanding, I do urge you to proceed with caution.
As far as getting married, sister, you are still young, and a relatively new Muslim. Please take time to study Islam, build up a network of Islamic friends and activities and ensure you are grounded in your Islamic community. Attend your local masjid and get to know your community. They will in sha’ Allah provide much support dear sister as well as assistance when you feel you are ready to be married. The imam would in sha’ Allah act as your Wali. As a Muslim, have trust in Allah that you will be able to help your mom, and that one day, she too will see the beautiful light of Islam.
You are in our prayers. Please let us know how you are doing.
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
