Answer
In this counseling answer:
“I urge you to make a list of all your attributes, good points, accomplishments, and blessings. Review them daily. View yourself with confidence and respect. Look internally to ensure you are not neglecting your needs for stress reduction, which will reduce anxiety and enjoyment.”
As Salamu ‘Alaykum Brother,
Thank you for writing to us with your most important question. I am sorry you are experiencing such anxiety and low self-esteem regarding your hair loss. What you are experiencing is common and referred to as male patterned baldness, which is experienced by 70% of men. Many men went through and are going through what you are. Some develop low self-esteem (as you have) while others just accept it and move on with their lives focusing on other physical attributes. There are online forums I suggest you check out dear brother, which may be useful for you to read other young men’s experiences.
Regarding early hair loss, “Some men aren’t troubled by this process at all. Others, however, suffer great emotional distress associated with a lack of self-confidence, and sometimes depression and high levels of anxiety can occur.” The fact that your friends and relatives “feel pity” for you or make fun of you does not help. It seems they are playing off of your insecurities. There is no reason to “pity” you. You are a healthy, strong man. Some men are living with missing limbs or have severe deficits. I do not mean to downplay your feelings regarding this as your feelings are real and valid; I am merely asking you to put this in its correct context.
For instance, did you know may men shave their heads bald as it is also considered to be appealing to women? Physical attributes vary by culture and fashion as well. Some men work out developing their bodies and focus on health rather than hair and consider themselves attractive. While you may be consumed with your loss of hair right now, I urge you, dear brother, to focus on other areas of your body which you perceive to be acceptable and work on that. For instance, if you have the propensity for clear skin, maintain it. If you enjoy working out, then focus on that.
I urge you to make a list of all your attributes, good points, accomplishments, and blessings. Review them daily. View yourself with confidence and respect. Look internally to ensure you are not neglecting your needs for stress reduction, which will reduce anxiety and enjoyment. When we are too obsessed with one aspect of our being, it leads to an overall imbalance which you appear to be suffering from now. I encourage you to try to overcome these feelings of low self-esteem and anxiety by re-directing your perception of what is considered attractive as well as building upon your attractive qualities, both external and internal. If you cannot move along the continuum of increasing your self-esteem and reducing your anxiety brother, I encourage you to seek counseling as there may be other underlying issues besides your hair loss.
A confident mind along with a cheerful smile is more attractive than a full head of hair!
Please let us know how you are doing brother. You are in our prayers.
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
