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I Asked About Islam, He Blocked Me

13 January, 2020
Q I will try my best to explain what happened and how I feel in sha' Allah. Allah guided me to a person who answered my questions and helped me with my struggles regarding faith.

After some days, I decided to contact that individual again to know whether it was fine to ask more questions related to Islam.

They said it was fine, so I took the chance and asked everything I had in mind. However, we began to have ups and downs in our relationship.

The problem was that the person didn’t feel comfortable interacting with females for such a long time. Each time I tried to speak with him, at the end, he always brought up that he had an issue speaking with me.

I turned to Allah to help me come up with ideas to solve this problem. Alhamdulillah, Allah answered my du'aa’s and provided me with some ideas. I told him of these ideas, but he kept telling me that he still had the issue of talking to girls under 18.

One day, I asked him a question which he told me that he did not have an answer for. I sent another question to him later, but he hasn’t responded. Then at the beginning of June, I found out he blocked me. It was a huge shock for me! I went crazy to the extent that I harmed myself even.

During Ramadan, I kept reaching out to him, but he blocked all my messages. I feel betrayed. In the end, Allah (swt) intervened by using a relative of mine to make me understand that it was his choice to block me. Allah chose him to be my guide, but since he wronged me he has to face the consequences.

I firmly believe Allah will provide me with something better. I just have to wait patiently until the Day of Judgment in order to get my right back.

I trusted this person and I am still hurt. I really need advises on what I should do in order to move on with my life.

I know that Allah (swt) will give me my right back and I know that the days will pass by quickly and then we will die. But it is really hard to forget the past when you had a hero in your life who saved you from being astray and was always there ready to answer your inquiries.

Answer


In this counseling answer:

• Meet Muslim sisters to get to know, learn from, and do social activities with.

• The brother was within his rights to block you if after he indicated he could no longer continue to assist you, you persisted.

• Seek mental health counseling for your suicidal feelings.

• I also urge you to make a contract with someone who is close to you that you will never harm yourself again.


As-Salamu ‘Alaikum dear sister,

I am sorry to hear of all the confusion and difficulty you are having in attempting to get an accurate Islamic education.

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If I understand you correctly, it appears that possibly in your eagerness to learn Islam, the brother may have perceived your inquiries as getting too personal or frequent. He felt he was transcending the boundaries of Islamic etiquette.

The brother was within his rights to block you if after he indicated he could no longer continue to assist you, you persisted.

Sister, while you may have felt this was a betrayal, it was not, in fact. It was a protection for both of you.

I Asked About Islam, He Blocked Me - About Islam

Ask Your Sisters in Islam

While you did not state if you attend a mosque or have any Muslim friends, I would kindly advise that you do attend a masjid for learning and meet Muslim sisters to get to know, learn from, and do social activities with.

If you desire more intense Islamic learning, you can go to a university and take Islamic courses either online or on campus. The combination of going to a mosque, having Muslim sisters as friends as well as taking intensive courses on Islam will in sha’ Allah provide a solid basis for your Islamic education.

Self-harm

I would also kindly suggest sister that you seek mental health counseling based on the fact that you stated: “you went crazy and harmed yourself”.

Sister, this is a serious issue that must be addressed. If you love and fear Allah (swt) as you state that you do, then surely you must know that self-harm is forbidden. Just like suicide and other haram behaviors.

Additionally, referring to this brother as a “hero” is inflation. It is a way of taking an innocent situation (such as answering Islamic questions) and thinking that it is more than what it is.

It appears as if you are obsessed with the brother. I urge you to get counseling as soon as possible, dear sister. Begin to think clearly about this situation and begin to heal.


Check out this counseling video:


As you possibly indicated you were under the age of 18, I urge you to confide in your parents or relatives regarding this situation so that they may be able to assist you in getting the correct counseling.

I also urge you to make a contract with someone who is close to you that you will never harm yourself again. Sign this contract and know that Allah (swt) is most merciful and Allah (swt) does see everything we do.

I urge you to get counseling as soon as possible dear sister in order that you may begin to think clearly about this situation and begin to heal.

We wish you the best, you are in our prayers. Please let us know how you are doing.

Salam,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees are liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.