I developed a habit of wasting time during work hours. I have wasted time indulging in sin which makes it worse.
I know that it is not right and feel so guilty but at the same time I feel like my attachment to this dunya is stronger and I don’t want to give things up.
Please let me know what to do.
In this counseling answer:
- In order to elevate your soul and overcome bad habits, you need to go beyond remorse and take action.
- Think about those minor sins that can prevent you from changing for the better. Make the decision that during this Ramadan you will completely cut off these behaviors and hold yourself accountable for your promise.
Salam alaikom wa rahmatullah, wa barakatuh,
Thank you for writing to us. You admit that you have a habit of wasting time during your work hours. I suppose you work remotely, and somehow you lost control over the daily work hours and spent them doing other things, including sinful behaviors.
Free Time Is a Blessing
Wasting time is sometimes a neglected but important issue.
Our free time is a blessing from Allah, and we have to make wise use of it. Sometimes, when we suddenly have a lot of free time, we do not know how to make the most of it.
I understand that this time-wasting also happened during your working hours, when you were paid to complete certain tasks. Which is a kind of double guilt, as you may feel that you owe not only to Allah but also to your employee.
Although you might not be alone in your particular case, I think it is a good start that you admit that you did not do what you should have.
And that you used this time to indulge in sinful behavior certainly can add to your guilt.
While you are feeling guilty, at the same time you feel like your attachment to this dunya is stronger, and you do not want to give it up.
You do not detail what exactly you did or what exactly you do not want to give up.
I think the first question is whether you have repented and asked for forgiveness. I am not sure whether you are still doing something wrong or not.
Are You Ready to Do Something?
And the other question is whether you feel ready to do something to overcome your guilt and leave sinful behavior behind.
Because it seems that you know what has gone wrong, but at the same time you are still doubting whether you want to or are able to give up certain things.
But one thing is sure: in order to elevate your soul and overcome bad habits, you need to go beyond remorse and take action.
So here are some things to consider:
Repentance and forgiveness from Allah, from your employees, and finally from yourself by admitting your weakness during the pandemic and beyond is an important step to take.
I’m not sure it has already happened, but if you admit to your employees that you feel very sorry for not handling properly your work hours and offer your willingness to do some form of compensation, I think it might lift some weight off your shoulders.
It is about taking responsibility for your actions externally as well.
Ramadan, the Perfect Opportunity
I think the upcoming Ramadan is a good opportunity to decide to be a better version of yourself.
It is the 30-day fasting period and the month of forgiveness. According to psychology, 30 days is also an average time to build new habits, so it seems like the perfect occasion.
I recommend that you sit down and think about those minor sins that can prevent you from changing for the better. There are some sins, that you want to get rid of but are still emotionally attached to.
Write down this list by choosing the most important ones. Make the decision that during this Ramadan you will completely cut off these behaviors and hold yourself accountable for your promise.
I think, in sha Allah, this month you will have an easier time. Why?
We are surrounded by more spirituality—more occasions for doing extra worship, more lectures, more community time, etc. And engaging in more sincere worship will automatically move you away from wrongdoing, in sha Allah.
Also, in order to be able to really indulge in the spirit of Ramadan, you will need to get rid of wrong behavior. Without this, there will be no barakah in your worship.
At the same time, if you sacrifice and give up things for the sake of Allah, he will reward you and help you to clean your heart.
Find a Specific Dua
Find a dua that most describes your struggle for this entire month. For example, ask Allah to help you find the right balance between the dunya and worshipping him.
By the way, you do not need to completely give up your love for this dunya. Allah created the blessings of this life, and the Prophet emphasized that there is nothing wrong with worldly pleasures until they prevent us from worship.
Also, we don’t need to be excessive and overemphasize worship over our worldly affairs.
Here are some articles that might help you on your journey:
- How Can I Seek Forgiveness from Allah?
- Forgive & Seize the Days of Forgiveness
- Preparing Your Soul for Ramadan (Video)
- How to Control Our Love for This Dunya?
May Allah help you, ameen.
Read more from Orsolya Ilham O.:
- How to Build Worship Habits and Pray Regularly
- How to Be More Consistent and Less Distracted?
- My Future Wife Befriends Male Coworkers!
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.