I can't express these feelings to anyone about what they think about me. Am I Muslim who can't even keep fast?
I am very ashamed about my this behavior but I am not doing it intentionally I wake up from sleep after every hour please help me in the light of islam
Answer
In this counseling answer:
- In some cultures there can be a strong sense of shame around these topics, as if everyone must be strong all the time or must practice perfectly. Sometimes these cultural expectations make people feel that if they struggle, something is wrong with them. But that is not true.
- Speak with someone you trust, such as a Muslim counselor who understands Ramadan and what fasting means.Talking about your fears openly with someone supportive can make a big difference.
Assalamu alaikum, sister,
Thank you for sharing your struggle.
You mentioned that you have been fasting since a young age, but during the past two years you have developed anxiety about fasting. You fear that you won’t be able to fast for the whole day, and this leads to panic attacks—your heart starts beating fast, you begin crying, you feel very thirsty, and you feel the need to drink water immediately.
I’m truly sorry to hear that you feel unable to share your fears and difficulties with the people around you, and you fear that you will be mocked or ashamed for them.
First of all, I want to point out something important: we are not talking about the fact that you are unable to fast. We are talking about the fear that you might not be able to fast. So the issue here is not a fact, but a fear.
No shame in struggling
And we all have fears, sister. Fear is a human emotion, and in certain situations it can protect us from harm. But, fears can feel too powerful. They can affect our minds and sometimes even limit our actions.
I also want to say something very clearly: there is no shame in struggling. Also, no shame in feeling fears, or other difficult emotions.
In some cultures there can be a strong sense of shame around these topics, as if everyone must be strong all the time or must practice perfectly. Sometimes these cultural expectations make people feel that if they struggle, something is wrong with them. But that is not true.
What happened?
It might help to reflect on when this started. Sometimes these fears start after a specific experience. Perhaps there was a day when fasting felt especially difficult, and your mind connected that moment with the idea that it could happen again. Sometimes even one difficult experience can make us generalize and expect the same result every time. It could also be that something someone said increased your worry.
It could really help if you spoke with someone you trust, such as a Muslim counselor who understands Ramadan and what fasting means. Talking about your fears openly with someone supportive can make a big difference.
You are worthy
Your worth is not defined by what other people say, and it is not defined by whether you are able to fast perfectly every single time. Your value is not measured by people’s expectations. Your value is known to Allah. He knows your intentions, your effort, and the struggles inside your heart that other people cannot see.
You fast for the sake of Allah alone—not for the approval of others. What others do, say, or manage to do does not determine your relationship with Him. You are accountable only to Allah, and He is fully aware of what you are going through.
Support yourself with actions
So try to shift your focus away from what others might think and keep it on your sincere intention and effort. Also try not to expect perfection from yourself. Many people feel worried before fasting, thinking they might not manage it, but often the body and mind adjust.
You can also support yourself in practical ways. For example, take care of your diet during suhoor, drink enough water, and choose foods that help you stay hydrated. Try to avoid very salty foods, intense physical activity, or anything that makes you feel excessively thirsty during the day.
Trust that, just like before, you may be able to get through the fast. And if on some day you genuinely cannot continue and need to break your fast, you can make it up later. Many people experience moments in their lives when they need to break a fast for a valid reason. It does not make you a lesser person, and it does not make you less valued in the sight of Allah.
I hope this helps. May Allah make things easy for you.