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Depressed Because I’m Feeling Unattractive

16 May, 2024
Q Assalumalikum, I am a 27 year old man, about to be 28 this year In Sha Allah.

I am really going through a rough patch in my life. I am depressed, I am anxious all the time, I over think and I am lonely. All my life I was always a failure, never really did well in studies, wanted to be a cricketer but was not supported. Became lazy and ignorant, although I kept praying and coming back to Allah. But I was hurt and I didn’t take my responsibility seriously.

So as a man I have desires and I wanted to pursue it in a haram way, but I also got rejected over there, got more depressed, made me feel conscious of my look even more (I am bald since I was 22) maybe Allah saved me in a way from haram but it still hurts that I am unattractive because now I want to marry and I don’t want to marry someone who isn’t attracted to me.

I also crave love and affection. But I also can’t do that as I don’t have a good job. I just earn enough to feed myself, can’t send money to my parents, can’t help the poor or anything. Time is running out and I am getting more and more depressed day by day and I see my life flashing, recalling each and every failure.

I don’t really know what to do. I wanna get married but I don’t have money and I feel unattractive. How do I cope up with this? Sometimes I wish that I die so that a burden could be lifted from my parents and I’ll be at ease at least under the grave (hopefully). Please tell me how do I carry myself forward with hope and a smile?


Are you feeling depressed and unlovable because you think you are not attractive enough?

Do you fear that no one would like to marry you? 

Attraction is subjective. Not everybody is attracted to the same traits or looks. You may dislike something about your body, which will be the most appealing quality to someone else. 

And just because you were rejected once, does not mean that you will be rejected by all. 

Positive self-talk and thinking is the key. With a 30-day practice, you can achieve transformation in your way of looking at your life. How?

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Check out Sr. Aisha’s tip on reducing depressive symptoms by adopting a more positive perspective on yourself and your achievements.


Views expressed by hosts/guests on this program (live dialogue, Facebook sessions, etc.) are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent. 

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.