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Depersonalization & Faith: Struggling With What Is Real

27 December, 2022
Q As salamu alaykum. I have been struggling with depersonalization for several years and I didn't know about it until recently. I believe my DP is also affecting my faith in that I struggle with what's real. I also feel that DP is a result of my sins. I have been feeling that my spiritual eye has been getting weaker to the point that I'm somewhat spiritually blind. I pray 5 times a day and I try to be regular in my recitation of the Quran. We have mental illness in my family tree (dementia, depression, psychosis, and even epilepsy). I would like to add that when I pray especially, I feel as if I am suffocating or that something is stuck in my throat and it's terribly uncomfortable. I don't want to blame my struggles on Sihr or Jinn anymore. But is it something paranormal? Jzk Allahu khairan.

Answer

Depersonalization is a mental disorder and causes you to feel disconnected and detached from your body and mind. This can include all aspects of your life, including your faith. 

Most likely because of this you feel the weakening of your faith. It is not paranormal, but your perceptions are altered because of your mental illness. 

What can you do?

Try to remove your focus from these notions and keep doing your worship. Allah knows what you are going through.

Mental illness needs treatment like any other illness. If you already visit a counselor and you do not feel better, you can do two things.

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Speak to your therapist to try another approach or seek another therapist.  

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general. They are purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.