I told him I am really sorry, and he knows my ex and how he affected me, but still, he just wants to give up. I feel so worthless now. His so-called brothers of Islam are telling him to divorce me and telling him I'm psycho. His last wife left him because she felt he was mentally abusing her.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
• You might like to first keep your distance, give him a bit of space, and let him cool down a bit.
• If there is nothing that you can do to convince your husband not to divorce, then just accept it as the Will of Allah.
• Be confident in the knowledge that Allah will not test you beyond what you can bear and will only let things happen for the best possible reason, in sha’ Allah.
As-Salamu ‘Alaikum dear sister,
Alhamdulilah, I am pleased that you have stepped forward to seek a diagnosis and assistance with your problems. This is the first step towards your recovery, in sha’ Allah. You realize why you developed a habit of lying and recognize that it is wrong and have promised to change. Ma sha’ Allah, sister, even though you face a difficult situation you are managing it in a positive way.
I know you have said that your husband won’t give you the time to talk things through. You might like to first keep your distance, give him a bit of space, and let him cool down a bit. When things are calmer, you can be alone with him in a peaceful environment, approach him, and talk gently about the matter and see if you are able to resolve things.
If there is nothing that you can do to convince your husband not to divorce, then just accept it as the Will of Allah. I know this might sound too easy given that you have already been through the pain of a divorce, but Allah knows best. If you are firm in the knowledge that Allah is working with your best interests, then know that there are better times ahead for you.
Check out this counseling video:
You say that your husband’s last wife left him because he was mentally abusing her. Maybe a divorce then would save you from the same potential outcome and even more pain in your relationship. Perhaps Allah wants to save you from this. Be confident in the knowledge that Allah will not test you beyond what you can bear and will only let things happen for the best possible reason, in sha’ Allah.
May Allah give you the strength to move forward whatever the outcome of your marriage and may He give you the confidence to trust in His ultimate wisdom.
Salam,
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