In this counseling answer:
• Seek the services of a lawyer as well as your imam at the Masjid to assist you in either separation and/or divorce.
• I would kindly advise you to call 911 should she have another outburst.
As Salamu Alaykum brother,
Thank you for writing to us. I am truly sorry for all you have been going through with your wife, may Allah grant you ease and mercy in this situation.
Given all she has done (the abuse, the poisoning of your child, the outrageous temper, and general instability) you have every right to divorce, brother.
It seems you have been going through this for some time now and you have done all that you can. You even tried to get your wife to go to counseling (which she desperately needs) many times and she refused.
As your wife refuses to get help, it is incumbent upon you as a father, a son and a Muslim to ensure your family is safe. As it is now, no one is safe.
Check out this counseling video:
I would kindly advise you to seek the services of a lawyer as well as your imam at the Masjid to assist you in either separation and/or divorce. As she is violent and tried to poison your daughter, she could also be arrested. This is horrific. She needs to leave the home immediately before someone ends up dead. She probably is suffering from a mental illness as you suspect. I would kindly advise you to call 911 should she have another outburst.
I understand that you want your child to have a two-parent home brother, but at what price? Hell? Your daughter will likely be severely injured both physically and psychologically should your wife remain in the home.
Perhaps your family doctor can get a 5150 (involuntary psychiatric hospital admittance) due to the severity of the situation. Please forgive me for not knowing the options in your country. However, insha’Allah they may be similar.
Please, insha’Allah, get help now to remove her from the home. You are in our prayers brother. Please let us know how you and your daughter are doing. May Allah protect you and your family.
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.