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Tired of My Husband’s Neglect: What to Do?

10 June, 2023
Q I've been with my husband for over 7 yrs. Since we've been together, he hasn't been able to keep a job because of his attitude. I have a three-year-old daughter and she's down syndrome. He doesn't work to provide for us, he doesn't help around the home, he doesn't care what we have to eat on a daily, he curses me every day and insult me in front of our baby, he has money to buy weed but nothing else, he waits till I ask my family for help to buy food and uses everything but never helps to provide nothing back. We live in a place that had no running water and I beg most the time for help to live. I’m so tired and the only thing keeps me going is my daughter. I need help. I don't know what else to do and my innocence daughter is seeing everything.

Answer

Aisha Mohammad
10 June, 2023

You have probably arrived at a point where you are contemplating making a decision about your marriage; otherwise, it can harm you and your daughter.

Talk to your family and let them know what is happening. If they are not there to help you, talk to the local imam or seek community support.

Show him the Quran and talk to him about the responsibilities of a husband.

You have been waiting for seven years, so it is not about patience. You need to think about your and your daughter’s health too.

What else can I do? Check out the answer here.

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services. 

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.