Answer
Answer:
Wa ‘Alaikum Salaam dear sister in Islam,
Thank you for your question. Please submit your last three questions to our Ask the Scholar section, because I do not know the rulings and their proofs on these questions. I have some ideas about the answers to your questions, but I prefer you contact our scholars who are qualified enough to give fatwas, in sha’ Allah. Also, kindly have a look at the additional links as well. But, as a counselor, here are my opinions on your case:
Our mothers have huge rights over us in terms of THEIR needs (material and emotional), i.e., food, clothing, shelter, and keeping company with them (more than others). However, many parents misconstrue their rights over their children to mean that they have the right to command their children’s lives, which is not true. Your parents are your “advising friends” once you grow up. Parents have the right to refuse an offer of marriage to their child, only based on sound religious argument(s), e.g., he does not pray, or he drinks, etc.
Does your elder sister live close to you and your mom? I assume she doesn’t live that far, as your mother expects you not to be far from her, therefore you could talk to your sister also regarding your marriage and taking care of your mom. This is her responsibility as well not just yours.
So, based on the above information, you can – and should – marry someone you want to marry, and also marry someone who lives near your mother so you can visit her frequently (to fulfill her right over you, to keep company with her more than others). But if you marry someone who does not live in your present neighborhood, can your mother move to where you live (not in your house, necessarily, but to your neighborhood maybe?)
Also, do not assume that your mother living with you is so bad. I knew of a case where a wife’s mother lived with her and it worked great; her mother cared for the children, freeing her daughter to go to work. Her mother also cooked, freeing her daughter in that way also—and she was a great cook. If your mother has the good sense to know the difference between her rights over you for HER needs as compared to commanding you to do what she wants you to do, her living with you could actually benefit both you and your potential spouse greatly.
Salam,
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