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I’m Not In Love with My Husband; I Don’t Know Why

26 October, 2022
Q I got married 4 years ago. Until now I’m not in love with my husband and I don’t care about him and I don’t want to live with him. But he is a very supportive and good person. And when I am with him I feel loneliness in most of the time. And, I always think that I want to divorce from him. What should I do?

It has been 3 years since my marriage. But I still feel no love for my husband, from that day till now. My marriage was completely at the will of my parents. I always think that I need a divorce from him. But I have no courage to present this in front of my parents and husband. I don't want to hurt anyone. I have often been depressed and tense. And I am confused whether I should continue this relationship or not. I don't know what to do. I know that if I say I can't stay with him, my closest everyone will hate me. Also, emotionally I am not a strong person, I will easily break down.

I don’t know what is the reason that I can’t love him. Once I just shared my problems with my sister, that time she just asked me what is your reason and what are the things you hate him. So, I just said I don’t know.

Answer

You might have been married for some time, but sometimes other issues, like work, children, or daily routines, take your focus away from getting to know your spouse on a deeper level. 

But bonding is important to create a stronger connection and cultivate love for each other.

What can you do to fall in love with your spouse?

Date nights and joyful activities together would spark the atmosphere around you. 

Leave your preconceptions about your spouse behind, and have a positive, friendly attitude. 

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Mutual, honest conversations about your needs and likes would help create bonds and care for each other. 

What else can you try?

Click on the video to learn more!

More about marriage:

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.