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My Wife Wants Cosmetic Surgery; It’s Upsetting!

17 June, 2023
Q My wife wants to get non-permanent cosmetic surgery and I don’t want her to as even though it “may” not be permanent it may be haram and it’s a physical change that I may not like, now I’ve spoken to her about it and it’s something she’s wanted for a very long time even before I met her. I’ve said that even though it is something she wants, now that she is married what she does no longer affects only her but others around her. She tells me that what she does isn’t something I can change as she’s the woman I chose to marry and she will never change because I asked her to. Whenever I mention it, she gets defensive and angry at me and says she doesn’t want to ever talk about it as it’s up to her and whatever punishment she gets is between her and Allah. I don’t want her getting a punishment from the Almighty for it and she doesn’t want to hear me out.

What should I do about this? I am very stuck and it is causing quite the problem for our marriage.

Answer

Aisha Mohammad
17 June, 2023

When we are talking about cosmetic surgery, there are multiple things to consider before declaring it haram or halal.

To clarify it, ask a scholar, but specify exactly what and why she wants to do it.

Yes, we are expected to accept ourselves as Allah has created us, but there are many cases where this can be difficult.

Approach her with kindness and love, and talk about the reasons behind her choice.

If she is facing issues with her self-esteem, support her and help her accept herself as she is.

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Check out the full advice here.

More from Sr. Aisha:

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general. They are purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.