I believed that I was going to work on my faith together with my husband and Inshallah we would be together in Jannah.
After reading more about the hoor al ayn, I just feel like I want to be single again and so I do not have to worry about meeting my husband in Paradise if I don’t have one.
It kills me from inside knowing that the one I truly love will be given other women just because of their lust of women. I’m sorry but, aaothoobillah, it disgusts me.
I always thought there will be no filth in Jannah, and that lust is a feeling of filth, so why will that exist there?
Would it be permissible for me to separate from my husband? I feel like if I had no attachment with a spouse, then Inshallah I wouldn’t need one in the hereafter.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
• The Hoor al-Ayn (heavenly maidens) is merely one small part of the many, many rewards of Jannah.
Indeed, each believer who enters Jannah will need only think of what they want, and it will be given to them.
• We as believing women will receive greater than anything we can imagine in comparison to the heavenly maidens. This thought should bring a great deal of comfort to our hearts.
• In Islam, sexual desire and feelings of lust are not considered evil or filthy; rather, they are part of our creation, as both men and women, and there is nothing wrong about having such feelings.
• Ask Allah to ease your heart, to renew your faith in Him, and to make you amongst the people of Jannah – with your husband.
As-Salaam ‘Alaikum wa Rahmatullah wa barakaatuh,
Thank you for contacting AboutIslam.net with your questions.
I understand that you are experiencing a great deal of emotional and spiritual turmoil right now.
There are a number of things which you have mentioned in your question that deserves taking the time to explain from an Islamic perspective.
To begin with, Jannah is a place of incredible, beautiful, and amazing reward that Allah has promised for all believers, both male and female.
{Allah has promised the believing men and believing women gardens beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally, and pleasant dwellings in gardens of perpetual residence; but approval from Allah is greater. It is that which is the great attainment.} (Qur’an 9:72)
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace, and blessings be upon him, said,
“Allah has said: I have prepared for My righteous servants what no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no imagination has fathomed…” ( Sunan At-Tirmidhi 3292)
In Jennah You Have Everything You Desire
The Qur’an describes Jannah in numerous ways, with dazzling palaces, rivers of wine and honey, lush gardens, and so much more.
The concept of heavenly maidens is merely one small part of the many, many rewards of Jannah. Indeed, each believer who enters Jannah will need only think of what they want, and it will be given to them.
Allah’s Mercy and Reward are vast and endless. Nothing He does or decrees for us – especially in Jannah! – is meant to cause us distress or harm in any way.
In addition, we ourselves as human beings will be changed.
We will feel no anger, no sorrow, no hurt feelings, and no negative emotions whatsoever.
We will be elevated forms of our human selves, both physically and emotionally.
Those things which cause us to hurt feelings in this world will dissipate.
We will have only love for fellow believers, and deep joy and appreciation at having being given the amazing reward of Paradise.
{And We shall remove from their hearts any hatred or sense of injury …} (Quran 7:43)
“There will be no hatred or resentment among them, their hearts will be as one, and they will glorify God, morning and evening.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)
As you can see from this, Jannah is a place far beyond anything we can imagine; the descriptions we are given in the Qur’an and Sunnah provide us with only the tiniest glimpse of what there is to look forward to.
The reality of Jannah will be far more beautiful and incredible than anything we can conceptualize in this world.
Allah’s Wisdom
Having said that, there is no denying that the heavenly maidens do exist. Allah created them, in His Wisdom, and this is something which we cannot reject from the Qur’an.
Yet, what is often not mentioned is that the believing women who enter Jannah will themselves be far superior to the heavenly maidens!
Umm Salamah (Radia-Allahu Anha) narrates that she said to the Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam):
“O Rasûlullah, are the women of this world superior or the hûr (of Paradise)?”
He replied, “The women of this world will have superiority over the hûr just as the outer lining of a garment has superiority over the inner lining.”
Umm Salamah then asked, “O Rasûlullah, what is the reason for this?” He answered, “Because they performed salâh, fasted, and worshipped [Allah]. Allah will put light on their faces and silk on their bodies.
[The human women] will be fair in complexion and will wear green clothing and yellow jewelry. Their incense-burners will be made of pearls and their combs will be of gold.
They will say, ‘We are the women who will stay forever and we will never die. We are the women who will always remain in comfort and we will never undergo difficulty.
We are the women who will stay and we will never leave. Listen, we are happy women and we will never become sad. Glad tidings to those men for whom we are and who are for us.’” [Tabarânî]
Feeling Inferior
No, Muslim women should feel inferior to the heavenly maidens, for we are far superior to them in every way.
The reward that we as believing women will receive greater than anything we can imagine in comparison to the heavenly maidens. This thought should bring a great deal of comfort to our hearts.
We will have whatever our hearts desire, knowing that Allah is the Most Just and the Most Generous.
He never does anything to hurt us, nor does He treat us with injustice or in an unfair manner.
Check out this counseling video:
While it is understandable that the thought of “sharing” one’s husband is difficult, there are a couple of things to think about as well.
You mentioned that “lust” is a “filthy feeling” – however, this is a statement which in and of itself must be questioned and reevaluated.
Sexual Desire
In Islam, sexual desire and feelings of lust are not considered evil or filthy. Rather, they are part of our creation, as both men and women, and there is nothing wrong about having such feelings.
What we are commanded to do is to control our desires so that we do not commit zina or other acts of sexual intimacy outside of marriage.
Both men and women have physical drives and sexual instincts. We should never feel ashamed or dirty for experiencing those feelings.
Again, the emphasis is on controlling our actions and ensuring that we do not cross the boundaries and rules that Allah has laid down for us.
In Jannah, lust will exist for believing men and believing women as well.
Every Muslim who enters Jannah will have a spouse, whether or not they were married in this world.
Every Muslim will enjoy a beautiful, intimate, and pleasing sexual relationship with that spouse.
Whether in this world or the next, we should never consider our natural sexual desires to be filthy or evil.
Rather, the Messenger of Allah (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told us that fulfilling our sexual needs in a halaal manner is a means of earning reward.
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“In the sexual intercourse of any one of you there is reward (meaning, when he has intercourse with his wife).” They said, “O Messenger of Allah, when any one of us fulfils his desire, will he have a reward for that?”
He (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Do you not see that if he were to do it in a haraam manner, he would be punished for that? So if he does it in a halaal manner, he will be rewarded. ” (Muslim 720)
Divorce?
Separating from or divorcing one’s husband for no legitimate complaint is something severely disliked by Allah.
Indeed, Shaytan delights in breaking up marriages.
Especially in a case like this, where there is no abuse or even incompatibility, one must be very careful that we don’t fall for his tricks.
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,
“Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.” (Muslim 2813)
RasulAllah also warned us against seeking divorce for invalid reasons:
“If a woman asks her husband for a divorce, for no reason, then the smell of paradise is forbidden for her.” (Tirmidi 1187)
Rather than focusing on a misplaced sense of pain with regards to the Hereafter, turn to Allah. Ask Him to strengthen both your marriage and your sense of trust in Him.
Read, learn, Renew Your Faith
Know that Allah is the Most Merciful, the Most Loving, and the Most Just.
He created Paradise for us as a place of joy and comfort and contentment, not of pain and difficulty.
Ask Allah to ease your heart, to renew your faith in Him, and to make you amongst the people of Jannah – with your husband.
It is of utmost importance for every believer to focus on living our daily lives in a manner pleasing to Allah. He may be pleased with us, and so that we may become those who are blessed with Jannah.
We all struggle with various spiritual challenges. The key to overcoming them is to turn to Allah and seek His assistance in overcoming those struggles.
{O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.} (Qur’an 2:153)
I pray that you are able to find peace and tranquility in your heart.
May you and your husband have a beautiful and blessed marriage, both in this world and in the Hereafter.
Ameen.
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.