We have a problem that my mother-in-law lives with us. My mother in law is a rich widow for a year. Our neighbors also enter our house without asking for permission, and my husband and my mother in the law allow them to enter. They create problems between us. However, I do all my work and responsibilities. We have two kids. Tell me please what to do.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
• See a marriage counselor to get to the root of the problems.
• You, your husband and children would function better as a family if you lived in your own home, separate from your mother in law.
Salamu ‘Alaikum,
Thank you for writing to us. I am sorry to hear of the difficulties you are going through in your marriage my dear sister. It cannot be easy for you living under those conditions, especially when there are people coming in and out of the home causing disruptions. Perhaps living under these conditions have affected your husband as well and he is taking it out on you, which is not right. While I am not sure how long it has been going on that your husband is rude to you and sleeps in another room, it certainly is not Islamic.
While you did not give further details, I suggest dear sister that in sha’ Allah you speak with your husband and tell him you are unhappy and that you would like to save the marriage if possible. Perhaps you, your husband and children would function better as a family if you lived in your own home, separate from your mother in law. While I do not know the feasibility of this, I thought I would mention it because in some situations, living with in-laws does cause problems within a marriage.
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I suggest in sha’Allah that you both see a marriage counselor to get to the root of the problem. From there you can either resolve the problem or live a happy life together. If he refuses, or you cannot resolve your differences, you do have the option for divorce.
Allah made marriage to be a happy, comforting union sister. When marriage problems exist, we are to try to resolve them Islamically. If this fails we are entitled to divorce rather than being stuck in an unhappy life. Please do make du’aa’ to Allah as well as make istakhara prior to any major decision. If we can be of further help, please let us know.
You are in our prayers.
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