Q Salam. I have been married for 3 years already. However, we have never had sex. I first thought maybe we needed more time and it would happen afterwards. After some time, I started getting closer to him, but he was never interested and tried to push me away. This made me frustrated. I tried again several times, but always ended the same. I got the impression that the problem was me. Thus, after a while I stopped trying, and we ended up in the routine of a sexless life. Deep down, I knew something was not right, especially while watching TV where intimacy is displayed, or even around family and friends who, while talking, share some intimate moments with their husbands. All this made me frustrated. I have sexual needs and, to be frank, I masturbate often, but never in front of my husband. With time, distance has been created; I stopped trying to have sex with him since clearly he is not interested. I observed that whenever I am changing clothes or having a bath together, he is never aroused. This deepened the distance and I tried to tell him that he always pushes me away. Maybe he realized and he started trying, but at that point, when he touched me, I stopped feeling anything. I don’t want him to touch me, and I am not aroused. I didn’t tell him, but I forced myself to act interested although he is always unable to penetrate me. Then I confronted him asking for with some explanation, and he said that he has a problem: he loses his erection and can’t continue. But during the conversation, he looked relaxed, not at all disturbed by that. He says that sex is not necessary, that our marriage is going really fine, and when I looked at him I realized that he totally meant it -that for him this is not a problem. I told him for me it was a problem, but he could not see my point of view. I insisted that we should try again and again. I bought him some lubricant and gave him some viagra pills. He went to see a doctor, but nothing was wrong. He saw a psychologist also. Using the lubricant, only once he was able to penetrate me, but a few seconds after, he lost his erection and we didn’t get any sexual relief. Today, we are still married, but we both stopped trying. I got fed up. Few months ago, I left his home; I am at my mother’s place now. But he comes to visit me and stays sometimes. In front of the world, we are together and we are the perfect couple, yet I cannot bring myself to see him as my husband anymore, and I am tired of pretending that everything is ok, especially when so many people are telling me it’s time to have children. I’m staying at my mother’s place also because recently he accepted a work and he is constantly abroad, so I am using this as an excuse in front of the family to explain my stay at my mother’s place. I would like to clarify one point. We have been together for so long that we are used to each other’s habits and jokes and presence. He is softhearted and my best friend, but the issue of sex in our marriage bothers me. For him, our marriage is still normal; sex is not important. He says he is not homosexual. Everyone loves him in the family, and I am unsure of my feelings for him anymore. I am wondering if Islam says anything about whether during a marriage of 3 years without physical intimacy, is the marriage still valid? I am really confused what I should do. I am 28, and I am a very attractive person; I can see that other people are attracted to me and I get confused why not him. I am also attracted to others. This is the first time I am talking about this.