Pardon me for this question. I have some female friends and acquaintances who like reading literature about homosexuals. But they have expressed explicitly that they do not support homosexuality, especially lesbians.
Although I am certain they are not attracted to the same gender, I don't know why they like to see gay couples. I asked this because I'm curious about what Islam says about this.
Should they be blamed and healed from this heart disease? Or is it something that we can understand? Thank you.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
The counselor encourages the questioner to try to guide them towards halal modes of Islamic education. Warn them of the danger and severity of their behaviors. And make du’aa’ to Allah (swt) that they realize that what they are doing is haram.
If after speaking with them, they refuse to listen to your good advice, I would kindly suggest that you cut off your friendship with them.
As-Salamu ‘Alaikum,
Your question is an important one as many youths express an interest in learning about sex around your age group, some earlier.
While desiring to learn about sexual activities is normal and a part of natural growth and development, it should be done so within an Islamic framework. This would include discussing one’s questions with parents (if possible). Taking classes at an Islamic Centre or Masjid on adolescent growth, sexuality, and development.
While some Islamic communities shun teachings on this subject, others do embrace educating the youth on what to expect. How to remain chaste according to Islamic standards. As well as providing coping skills to avoid haram behaviors.
Avoid haram
Avoiding haram behaviors is most critical. Knowing what is haram is one of the keys to avoiding haram behaviors. While your friends may think their viewing and reading homosexual pornography is harmless. Or they feel it could not lead to other actions, they are seriously mistaken!
“I did not see anything so resembling minor sins as what Abu Huraira said from the Prophet, who said, “Allah has written for the son of Adam his inevitable share of adultery whether he is aware of it or not: The adultery of the eye is the looking (at something which is sinful to look at), and the adultery of the tongue is to utter (what it is unlawful to utter), and the inner-self wishes and longs for (adultery) and the private parts turn that into reality or refrain from submitting to the temptation.” (Bukhari)
Therefore, we can see that viewing, reading, and talking about these topics are haram. And can lead to further curiosity and even actions such as engagement if one is not careful.
By engaging the heart and mind in these pursuits, your friends may think it is harmless. Because they are just curious. However, their curiosity and that they are indulging their minds and private parts in stimulation is against the foundations of Islamic morals. And is sinful.
Check out this counseling video:
Curiosity
While there are is much literature and pornography relating to homosexuality as well as other sexual acts, it is common for young people to want to know “what is this, what does it look like, how is it done” and so forth.
However, there is much danger in feeding one’s curiosity. First of all, as Muslims, we are to guard our private parts. By viewing such material your friends are normalizing what Allah (swt) has decreed to be haram.
Secondly, while they may have no intentions of engaging in this behavior. By participating in the viewing and reading of it, each time they are conditioning their brains to accept these acts as okay.
Further, they are losing their fear of Allah (swt)’s wrath. The Quran states,
“Who abstain from sex; And they who guard their private parts, Except from their wives or those their right hands possess, for indeed, they will not be blamed.” (23: 5-6)
Communicate
I would kindly suggest, dear sister, that you speak to your friends about the dangers of viewing sexual materials, whether it is homosexual couples or heterosexual couples, for in it lies haram acts with the possibility of committing further acts of sinning as normalizing the viewed content may occur.
As young Muslimahs, you are to guard your eyes, your private parts, and what you feed your mind with. Encourage each other to seek out the answers to your questions and curiosities in an Islamic ally righteous manner.
In sha’ Allah, encourage your friends to attend Islamic classes on marriage and family structure. Learn about sexuality from either your parents or seek out Islamic sources for learning.
Adolescence
Adolescence is a time wherein hormones are running high as well as curiosity about one’s changing body and emotions as well as about things seen in the world which can be haram in Islam.
While other teens may already be conditioned to think viewing and reading pornographic material is okay, as Muslimahs, your friends should be encouraged to rise above the “norm” and live up to the pious expectations of Muslim young ladies.
No one is perfect; we all sin and alhumdulilah for Allah’s mercy. I do not feel your friends know the dangers that lie within these behaviors; however, if they do not stop, ask for Allah’s forgiveness and seek out halal means of getting answers to their curiosity.
Be a guide
I would encourage you to try to guide them towards halal modes of Islamic education, warn them of the danger and severity of their behaviors, and make du’aa’ to Allah (swt) that they realize that what they are doing is haram.
If after speaking with them and they refuse to listen to your good advice, I would kindly suggest, dear sister, that you cut off your friendship with them. While this may be hard as they are your friends, it is a safeguard for you, and there will be many blessings in it for you, in sha’ Allah.
Conclusion
As a pious young sister, you do not want or need to be influenced in the wrong way by your friends. While you may be strong and you yourself are not engaging in this behavior, it is safer for you to leave them with their behaviors which are haram if they refuse to follow moral Islamic guidelines.
As Muslims, we are to avoid those things and people which can be harmful to our spirituality and closeness to Allah (swt). Again, while it may all be innocent curiosity, it is haram and there is danger in it. In sha’ Allah, your friends will heed your advice sister.
You are in our prayers.
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