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Stressing About Things I Cannot Control, Please Advise!

21 January, 2023
Q I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease few months ago, it got detected at early stage and it is manageable as long as I live a healthy lifestyle (InshaAllah). However, I cannot help but to worry about my future:

1) what if no one wants to marry me because I have autoimmune

2) what if I do get married, but I end up passing the disease to my kid?

3) what if I develop another type of autoimmune disease? (Once you have one, you are prone to develop another)

4) what if my other siblings also have this disease?

I notice my youngest brother has some symptoms but I am afraid because I don’t want them to experience this (it sucks). He is 1 year in college with no insurance coverage. I plan to get him tested once he has insurance coverage (he needs to get a job first). But I am afraid it is too late by then? And I do not want to crush his life by telling him that he might have the disease (he is supposed to have fun in college)

I think my problem is I want perfection, I want to be able to control everything. When I cannot control things, I become anxious and cannot stop worrying which leads to stress.

Answer

When you get diagnosed with a disease, naturally, many questions start to arise.

It is very normal that you would like to know the answers in order to accept and adjust yourself to the situation. Hearing them would reduce your stressing about the unknown. 

Make a list of these questions and turn to your physician, who will address your concerns, including the very specific ones.

Many people suffer from some type of health condition that allows them to marry, have healthy children, and live a happy life. 

Take a positive attitude towards your illness and the way you talk about it. It will give the impression that you can manage it, and eventually, you will manage it in your daily life.

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Views expressed by hosts/guests on this program (live dialogue, Facebook sessions, etc.) are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent. 

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.