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Cheated with My Sister: Family Wants Me to Forgive

31 January, 2023
Q Assalamu alaikum,

My husband and I have been married for a few years now. In the 2nd year of our marriage my husband misbehaved with my sister when I was pregnant with his son. However, my family and I decided to forgive him and give him another chance because we thought maybe shaitan got the better of him. 5 years later he tried to do the same thing and this time he said he realized his mistake so he didn’t do anything. But when I knew he TRIED to do it himself I was feeling so disappointed and disgusted. I told my family about it too and they are still saying to forgive him and give him a last chance for the sake of my son. But I feel so stuck in this relationship and I cannot look at him without feeling disgusted. Please advise me about what to do? Do you think divorce will help my son?

Answer

Having an intimate relationship outside of marriage is much more than “misbehaving.” If he cheated you with your sister, it is zina and a major sin. 

While Shaitan attempts to separate husband and wife, this is not an excuse: people make conscious decisions about whether to follow or resist their desires.

Talk to your husband and find out where his heart is.

Marriage counseling would be very important to fix your relationship if both of you want to work on it. And what if not?

Check the answer to find out!

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees are liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.