I Was a Victim of Rape

05 October, 2016
Q I really need help with my deen and with everything. I feel lost and depressed; I don't know where to seek help and refuge. I really want to wake up before it's too late. Please, someone help me, I really need someone; everything seems to fail. I've been in a situation where my family disowned me and I didn't have anyone next to me. I was targeted by many men and was a victim of rape. I have been hurt physically and emotionally, please get back to me! 

Answer

Answer:

As-Salam ‘Alaikum,

I will suggest a few actions that you can take to help alleviate some of your depression and to help revive your faith in Allah (swt) and in His eternal love for you. But first, I would like to share some crisis numbers which I found in Wales, UK. I called them and they all work. The first two might only be available during certain hours of operation, but the last one is a 24 hour crisis line.

For Rape:  http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/

Phone: 08088029999

For Crisis: http://callhelpline.org.uk/

Phone: 0800132737

If you need to speak with someone immediately, you can call Samaritans at 08457 90 90 90.

If you feel suicidal, please stop and call: 0800 132 737

Or go to this website: http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/depression.php

These are secular numbers and they won’t address Islam or faith; however, they are connected to mental health services. Mental Health Interventions are like principles of nature/physics, and they are effective when delivered with competency, regardless of what religion you are. They are like gravity which keeps the feet on the ground regardless of whose feet they are. As all laws of nature and of spirit including the laws of emotion, psychology, and mind were created by Allah (swt), they are meant for us to use for our own healing and growth as we strive for wholeness with Him.

If you are experiencing a severe depression, are homeless, or have recently been traumatized, then it is most appropriate that you reach out to resources that can provide you with help for your emotional and mental stability. They can also lead you to help with homelessness, if you are homeless.

Allah (swt) knows that you must have your basic needs for safety met. With that said, I also encourage you to call a local mosque and reach out to an Imam in your area. Hopefully, this will get you connected with a support system of caring Muslim women so that you will not be alone. Getting connected is your first order of business. If you are in crisis and cannot settle your mind enough to pray or read Quran, then focus on getting connected. Indeed, the root of depression is feeling disconnected from Allah (swt). The relationship problems that we feel and our disconnection from others reflect our sense of disconnection from Allah (swt). So, indeed, reconnecting with Allah (swt) is the first step in recovery.

Strengthening faith is a natural process that occurs as you surround yourself with higher minded and soulful people, healthy activities and as you change the environment which you are in. We need to be with people who can encourage us, so do not be harsh with yourself and do not judge yourself in any way. Remember that Allah (swt) loves His creation and does not wish for any of His Own to suffer. So, if you are suffering, it is very important that you do your part to get, accept, and utilize help.

If you have not been reading Quran or praying and you have recently been traumatized, then, instead of imposing a full program on yourself, go slowly. Get yourself into a calm state of being, prepare yourself for prayer, and then reach out to Allah (swt) and ask Him for protection, help, guidance, and faith.

People often forget that the whole meaning of submission to the will of Allah (swt) is to ask Allah (swt) for everything that you need – including faith. Then, instead of trying to figure out how to get it or forcing life to unfold on your own terms, allow Allah (swt) to unfold your life one day at a time. Your faith will increase as your needs are met.

One beauty of being in the depth of darkness and experiencing the pain of loneliness is that when we finally surrender to Allah (swt), we experience each comfort as a blessing and a miracle. The key here is to surrender. As you open up to this unfolding, and you experience the miracles of Allah (swt), your faith increases, your understanding of who and what Allah (swt) is increases, and this increases the light within you. For now, read some Surahs – even if only one per day-, and start with a prayer asking Allah (swt) to increase your faith and to help you bring your will back into alignment with your Creator’s will.

For now, please read Sura Dhuha. You will be reminded that Allah (swt) has not forgotten you. Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) has experienced this kind of depression when he did not receive revelation from Allah (swt) as he thought Allah (swt) did not want him anymore. This is a good lesson in what we think can cause our depression and feelings of separation from Allah (swt), but when we remember Allah (swt), we are immediately re-connected and this in itself can greatly relieve fear, anxiety, and depression.

Finally, I invite you to stay connected with Aboutislam.net. Please write in and let us know how you are and if my response has helped you in any way. I would like to understand what has happened to you; how were you abandoned? How is it that you are in such a vulnerable situation? Perhaps sharing anonymously will help us to process through to some ideas of how to make this situation a situation of safety and self-care. You are not alone.

If you are not safe, make those calls NOW.

Salaams,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information that was provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, it’s volunteers, writers, scholars, counselors, or employees be held liable for any direct, indirect, exemplary, punitive, consequential or other damages whatsoever that may arise through your decision or action in the use of the services which our website provides. 

About Maryam Bachmeier
Dr. Bachmeier is a clinical psychologist who has been working in the mental health field for over 15 years. She is also a former adjunct professor at Argosy University, writer, and consultant in the areas of mental health, cultural, and relationship issues.