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Family Hinders My Recovery From Their Abuse

15 August, 2023
Q Assalamu Alaikum. I am a young Muslim in my early 20s who has grown up with mentally and emotionally abusive narcissistic parents, and with a sibling. It’s been a lifetime of abuse. I am trying my best to recover but they keep blaming me for my health problems and are extremely unsupportive. Whatever I do is never good for them, even if I do what they say, they change their words the very next minute or deny they ever suggested that. Everybody, from doctors to Muslim scholars, Muslim therapists, counsellors has told me either to run away before or leave home as it was extremely bad. Even now professionals have told me to leave as they fear for my future at I won’t be able to reach my full potential living at home due to all the barriers. There is occasional mental abuse that happens. It’s not as bad as before but affects me intensely. Have other people lived in these circumstances and grown before, is it possible? I just want to run away most times & start fresh but I think with my age it’s too late & will be too hard to start from scratch. I wish someone had intervened when I was younger, as a child. Even though I told them I was scared what the outcome would be. What’s your advice? How can I improve and move forward in a situation like this?


You have suffered lifelong abuse by your closest ones, yet you still expect their love and support.

Maybe they are not the right ones to help you, as they may not know how to provide you with emotional and mental safety and protection.

You do not need their approval or acceptance to embark on your healing journey. You are strong enough to overcome it and heal your wounds.

Leaving a toxic home is not running away.

Those who advised this may have been aware of the negative consequences of not removing yourself from a place like that.

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Sometimes this is the best and wisest thing to do.

What else can help? Check out the counselor’s answer here.

More from Sr. Aisha:


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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.