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Abused by Married Son: How Can I Heal?

17 July, 2022
Q Slm. I have a married son living with me with his wife & child. I took them in 2 years ago & ever since he has been very rude to me. He would swear at me & threaten to physically abuse me when we have disagreements. He did this previously as well before living with me.

I warned him & his wife that should he continue to abuse me verbally that I will ask them to leave. It happened again & I told them to leave. He does not show any remorse & continues to ignore me. Both him & his wife are extremely upset that I have asked them to leave. This behavior has caused me lots of stress & affected my health in a bad way.

How does one heal emotionally after being abused by your son & how does one forgive him? I feel that I never want to see him again & feel lots of anger towards him.

Answer

Aisha Mohammad
17 July, 2022

Abuse is traumatic and toxic. So, you did the right thing by asking your son to leave your home after his rude behavior.

Those family members who cannot control their emotions need to take action and find a way to manage their anger. 

This is not a healthy situation, so you need to reach out to the community and seek assistance to regain your safety and peace at your own home.

Want to know more? Check out Sr. Aishaʻs answer

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.