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After Divorce, I Crave for Love

08 March, 2022
Q Salam Aleikom sister, I just got divorced. I am a Muslim woman. I crave love and I am scared I will do something haram. What can I do with my desires after divorce?

Answer


In this counseling answer:

• Take up a new hobby. Join a gym and engage in an exercise program.

•  Attend social events with friends. Join Islamic classes for learning and increasing your knowledge.

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•  Get more involved with life activities and acts of worship.

•  Make duaa to Allah and ask Him to help guide you and deal with the situation of your feelings for desire.


As salamu Alaykum dear sister,

I am sorry to hear about your divorce sister. However, Allah Knows Best. I am sure that you will be in a better position in the future.

Getting divorced is an emotional experience, which can cause pain, depression, and sadness. It also leaves one desiring love, intimacy, and a connection.

Voids After Divorce

When one is married and then gets divorced, there appears to be avoided because you are used to being with someone. You are used to sharing special intimate times with a husband. Now that there is no longer a husband, you are left with just your feelings of desire.

Dealing with Desires

Sister, I kindly advise you to consider keeping your mind busy to ward off your desires. While desires are normal and natural as we are human beings, there are things we can do to decrease the intensity and frequency.

Take up a new hobby. Join a gym and engage in an exercise program. Attend social events with friends. Join Islamic classes for learning and increasing your knowledge. Get more involved with life activities and acts of worship. It is difficult to feel desire when one is focused on spiritual pursuits.

After Divorce, I Crave for Love - About Islam

Go to Allah for Strength

I kindly advise that insha’Allah, you also make duaa to Allah and ask Him to help guide you and deal with the situation of your feelings for desire. By depending on and trusting in Allah’s mercy and protection, insha’Allah you will soon find that your desires are more manageable.


Check out this counseling video:


Conclusion

Life after divorce is not an easy transition. Feelings of desire may be one of the hardest to deal with.

However, with an active lifestyle involving a balance in the areas of Islamic activities, family, friends, personal pursuits, you should be able to control your feelings of desire.

When our lives are not balanced and lack positive things and people, we tend to have more time to overthink our issues, especially regarding a desire for intimacy.

Please do try the tips and advises sister, insha’Allah it will help.

We wish you the best!

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

How to Rebuild My Life After Divorce?

How Can I Recover After My Divorce?

A Muslim Woman Shares Her Experience after Divorce

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.