Answer
In this counseling answer:
- Be sure, if not in this life, in the next life Allah will surely make justice for all the sins humanity has committed on Earth.
- Dua is the most powerful tool we Muslims have in order to gain our inner peace.
- There is a saying: “Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
Salam Aleikom sister,
Thank you for writing to us! You describe a tough situation, subhanallah. May Allah grant your niece paradise and forgive her sins, and may Allah make it easy for the family.
As you know, murdering another person in Islam is a major sin, and the person who did it has to receive punishment. This is according to all the laws of the world, not just Islamic rulings.
So I assume this person, even though she is a non-Muslim, has already received her punishment from the government.
Sister, other than seeking justice in court, you cannot do anything in this situation.
Allah, the Most Just
Relieve your soul and hand the situation over to Allah. Be sure, if not in this life, in the next life He will surely make justice for all the sins humanity has committed on Earth.
The nature of this life, sister, is that you find many unjust things in it. It is not paradise.
It has good and bad as humans have given the free, but be sure that Allah brings justice on the Day of Judgment to everyone—including your niece.
Make Dua
I advise you, sister, first and foremost, to turn to Allah.
Dua is the most powerful tool we Muslims have in order to gain our inner peace, especially after such a trauma that happened to you and your family.
It is Ramadan now, so the best time to recharge your faith and get stronger is by relying on Him.
“Surely in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find comfort.” (13:28)
Turn to Him and complain about your feelings; ask Him to make forgiveness and moving on easy for you.
Ask Him to grant your niece the highest places in Jannah. Allah is the only one who is able to do anything and help you in all situations, so keep close to Him through prayers and duas.
Also, remember that Allah can forgive all sins.
“O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.” (Quran 39: 53)
So if He is the Most Merciful, who are we to not forgive a person? I really understand your situation and feel for you. I know this seems impossible, but let me explain why I am saying this.
Do Not Poison Yourself
When injustice happens to us or to one of our loved ones, we become extremely angry. We feel we will never be able to forgive this person.
We often wish him or her death and all the worst. However, by doing so, we only hurt ourselves.
There is a saying: “Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
Anger only shakes the peace of our soul, not the one who has committed the sin.
Does it worth letting anger interfere to a great extent in our life for years knowing that Allah is The Judge (Al Hakam), the Absolutely Just (Al-Adl)?
I advise you to read a bit more about these names of Allah. Inshallah, it will help you move on from the trauma you experienced. Inshallah, it will help you see forgiveness as an act of goodness.
Hand over your anger to Allah.
Let Him be the judge and set yourself free from ill feelings that only harm your beautiful soul. Forgive so that Allah forgives all your sins as well. Forgive for your own benefit.
There is a beautiful article about four reasons why forgiveness is good for your soul.
Read it; inshallah, it will further help you process your grief and calm your anger.
May Allah help you find your peace,
More from Sr. Aya:
- How to Overcome My Fears of Not Having Control?
- I’m So Angry at Allah, I Lost My Love for Him
- New Muslims: How to Be Productive
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