Can you please guide me? Also, I have many non-Muslim friends in school. For your reference, I am in 9th grade, and I feel alone and separated when they do not talk to me. Some also (mostly non-Muslim girls) touch me intentionally, and I feel that I should curse them. However, I try my best to refrain and I have been successful in accomplishing that.
Being good in studies, many students and teachers respect me, but some non-Muslim girls have just made it their habit to say that, “He loves me”, “Let’s touch him”. I cannot tell you how much anger I feel from these words. My life is very stressful and I do not know the reason. I hope that you will be able to tell that. Also, I am a young practicing Muslim and have been a top contributor on a public Muslim forum in a non-Muslim site. Al hamdu Lillah, many people have accepted Islam in public forums like the one I contribute on and one non-Muslim is currently learning about Islam from me there.
However, they are unaware of my age and I feel that I spend too much time on forums like this one. Should I leave the forum where I spend almost half of my day? Where I am able to offer good advice and where non-Muslims are reverting to Islam? I need your urgent help and hope that you’ll be able to help me. Jazaka ‘Allah Khayrun.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
•You must find ways to get your message across in a manner that will be less offensive. That is why we all must learn different ways of communicating.
•As for your troubles at school, my advice to you would be patience and moderation. Don’t go to extremes. Certainly don’t go around cursing people.
•I encourage you to keep up with your da’wah efforts but make sure you maintain balance in your life. You must not overdo it and make sure you make time for other things that have equal rights over you.
As salamu `Alaykum,
Dear brother, thank you for writing to us. It is truly wonderful to see you so dedicated to Islam at such a young age. I would ask you to change nothing and to keep up your passionate work for the sake of Allah and Islam.
Just a bit of advice to you. First off, although you may want the best for people, especially your family, you must realize that preaching must be done with tact and diplomacy.
You must find ways to get your message across in a manner that will be less offensive. That is why we all must learn different ways of communicating. Sometimes preaching is not even the most effective way. If you see that people respond negatively to the direct approach, try to be more subtle or don’t even rely on the overt word, but try to set a good example. We must remember that the Prophet (SAW) taught his Companions to speak to people in a manner that they can understand. If you are speaking one language but your family is rejecting that, you must find other ways to make your point. There is no point in telling them things that they will reject or ridicule.
Even though you may be confident that what you are saying is the truth, you have to put yourself where they are and try to see things from the perspective of the other. This is difficult but a must in any da’wahor counseling work. Don’t lose faith, though, it’s Allah’s way of helping you to improve your da’wah and become more refined in your communication, in sha ‘Allah.
At the end of the day, people need to be willing to change and choose to do it on their own. This means that they must see something in your message that will motivate them to embrace it on their own. Islam is about the willful surrender to Allah, and there is no compulsion in it whatsoever. That means that a person’s heart must turn to God first. Focus on that and know that it is through knowledge, truth, beautiful language and wisdom that people are guided by Allah, in sha ‘Allah.
Check out this counseling video:
As for your troubles at school, my advice to you would be patience and moderation. Don’t go to extremes. Certainly don’t go around cursing people. They might be jealous of you, or perhaps they don’t quite know you or understand you and they feel they need to provoke you. Never mind them. If they harass you, let them be and don’t stay in their company. If you really want to throw them for a loop, when they harass you, give them a gift or a word of kindness and see how they react.
The best is to show them that they can’t annoy you, that you are too strong to allow them to get to you. Try to keep company with those who are friendly, righteous and respectful, and don’t let the others get to you because in the end, that’s what they want. They are trying to provoke you, so show them the opposite and see what they do! It might be fun…
Lastly, I encourage you to keep up with your da’wah efforts but make sure you maintain balance in your life. You must not overdo it and make sure you make time for other things that have equal rights over you. It is great that you are so passionate about helping others in Islam. But be mindful that in Islam knowledge does not come from repetition but from practice and implementation, and this cannot be learned in virtual reality. This might lead you to want to continue your studies in the Islamic sciences. You should strongly consider it.
It’s also important that when we speak, we speak from knowledge – either the knowledge we have acquired from others with knowledge or that which can be confirmed. That is why we must always be humble enough to either admit when we don’t know something or to find the answer from one who has it. Either way, it’s a blessing because we get to help others and learn at the same time.
I hope and pray your efforts are fruitful and that Allah makes you a vehicle for others to embark on the path to Him.
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