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Son Blames Parents for Poor Life



Reply Date

Apr 22, 2019


As-salamu alaikum dear counselor, I have a big problem with my youngest son he always blames his father for the poor life we are leading. The father is a civil servant and our salary almost full fills our dailylife needs. But the son accuses the father of not doing enough to improve his life and secure his future. Recently he started to even insult and curse his father, I tried to speak with him to be kind to the father and not blame him for our living condition, but to no avail. I don’t know what to do, Please help.



In this counseling answer:

•While you and your husband have provided your son with an adequate life and sacrificed much alhamdulilah, he is spoiled and ungrateful.

•Please never doubt your or your husband’s efforts dear sister, you sound like wonderful parents!

As-salamu alaykum,

I am sorry to hear your so is treating your husband this way. While you did not mention your son’s age, perhaps he needs to go on a family excursion to visit the poorest of the poor and do some charity work. I would kindly suggest getting him involved in charity work with the homeless or immigrants/refugee’s who are in desperate need.

I would make this part of his weekly routine. Insha’Allah seeing those less fortunate than him will soften his heart and give him a new view and appreciation. I would kindly suggest getting in touch with some local Islamic organizations who are doing charity work and get your son involved.

karim serageldin & naaila clay

While you and your husband have provided your son with an adequate life and sacrificed much alhumdulilah, he is spoiled and ungrateful. Please never doubt your or your husband’s efforts dear sister, you sound like wonderful parents!

Lastly dear sister, his disrespect and cursing of his father is haram and should not be permitted. Should he continue, consequences should follow such as taking things away from him, grounding him as well as reminding him of Allah’s wrath should he continue this most despicable behavior. Please do draw close to Allah, be supportive of your husband as I am sure it hurts him as well.

Also make duaa to Allah for ease in this matter. You and your family are in our prayers.

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About Aisha Mohammad

Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word poetry projects.

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