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My Son Blames His Father for Poor Life

22 June, 2022
Q As-salamu alaikum dear counselor,

I have a big problem with my youngest son he always blames his father for the poor life we are leading.

The father is a civil servant and our salary almost fulfills our daily life needs. But the son accuses the father of not doing enough to improve his life and secure his future.

Recently he started to even insult and curse his father, I tried to speak with him to be kind to the father and not blame him for our living condition, but to no avail.

I don’t know what to do, Please help.

Answer

In this counseling answer:

•Get him involved in charity work with the homeless or immigrants/refugees who are in desperate need.

•Insha’Allah seeing those less fortunate than him will soften his heart and give him a new view and appreciation.

•Get in touch with some local Islamic organizations who are doing charity work and get your son involved.

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•Please never doubt your or your husband’s efforts dear sister, you sound like wonderful parents!


As-salamu alaykum,

I am sorry to hear your so is treating your husband this way. While you did not mention your son’s age, perhaps he needs to go on a family excursion to visit the poorest of the poor and do some charity work.

I would kindly suggest getting him involved in charity work with the homeless or immigrants/refugee’s who are in desperate need.

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I would make this part of his weekly routine. Insha’Allah seeing those less fortunate than him will soften his heart and give him a new view and appreciation.

I would kindly suggest getting in touch with some local Islamic organizations who are doing charity work and get your son involved.

While you and your husband have provided your son with an adequate life and sacrificed much alhumdulilah, he is spoiled and ungrateful. Please never doubt your or your husband’s efforts dear sister, you sound like wonderful parents!

My Son Blames His Father for Poor Life - About Islam

Lastly dear sister, his disrespect and cursing of his father is haram and should not be permitted. Should he continue, consequences should follow such as taking things away from him, grounding him as well as reminding him of Allah’s wrath should he continue this most despicable behavior.

Please do draw close to Allah, be supportive of your husband as I am sure it hurts him as well.

Also make duaa to Allah for ease in this matter. You and your family are in our prayers.

Salaam,

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information that was provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, it’s volunteers, writers, scholars, counselors, or employees be held liable for any direct, indirect, exemplary, punitive, consequential or other damages whatsoever that may arise through your decision or action in the use of the services which our website provides. 

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.