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Mom Wants Me to be a Teacher, But I Don’t

Questioner

Hoor

Reply Date

May 08, 2019

Question

Hi my name is Hoor and I am only 13. I have a goal and dream of being a sports player but my mum wants me to be a teacher. And that is something I really do not want to be. I don’t know what I should do?

Counselor

Answer


Mom Wants Me to be a Teacher, But I Don't

In this counseling answer:

•I ask that you keep an open mind concerning your future and your goals. You don’t have to be what your mother wants you to be.

•Don’t argue with your mom about careers right now. Focus on your current studies. Participate in sports as you would like.

•You may find that you are interested in something else. You could also be a teacher and a sports star on the side.


As salamu alaykum,

Thank you for writing to us. As I understand your question it concerns your career goals. You have a goal and dream of being a sports star but your mom wants you to be a teacher. You stated that you do not want to be a teacher.

Growth and Change

Please know that as you are only 13, your career goals could change over the years. So many times when young people go through schooling, they want to go for one thing and later they decide they want to go for another. This is completely normal and it is due to the learning process.

Throughout our lives, we have new experiences and we learn new things. You may want to be a sports star right now but perhaps when you’re 17 or 18 you may want to be a doctor or an engineer or maybe you want to be a journalist. You may also still may want to be a sports star.

karim serageldin & naaila clay

The point is, as we change. I kindly encourage you to hold on to your goals and dreams of being a sports star. You may well be a very well-known sports star. But perhaps along the way as the years pass, you may also find something else you would like to do.

Open Options

I ask that you keep an open mind concerning your future and your goals. You don’t have to be what your mother wants you to be. You only have to be what is acceptable to Allah and yourself. If you’re forced into a career that you do not like or will not enjoy, life will not be that fulfilling.

It’s very important that we enjoy what we have chosen as a career as it is what we will be doing for the rest of our lives (usually). With that said, please do keep an open mind to different things. Don’t argue with your mom about careers right now. Focus on your current studies. Participate in sports as you would like.

At this point, debating with your mom about being a sports star versus being a teacher is rather irrelevant. It will only lead to being upset and possibly driving a wedge between you and your mom. I will kindly suggest insha’Allah that you leave this conversation for now and focus on other things. You may want to do your own personal research on career goals.

You may find that you are interested in something else. You could also be a teacher and a sports star on the side. The possibilities are endless. But for now insha’Allah, please just focus on getting good grades, keeping close to Allah, and enjoying your teen years.


Check out this counseling answer:

Time

While it is important when you are young to prepare for your career, inshallah you do have some time before you have to really set concrete goals towards a career. Take this time to explore your options more fully, learn new things, and be open to suggestions to try different things.

We wish you the best you’re in our prayers.

Amen,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Aisha Mohammad

Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word poetry projects.

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