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My Kids Don’t Feel the Joy of `Eid, What to Do?

Questioner

S

Reply Date

Jun 06, 2019

Question

Dear counselor, I need your advice , we are a poor family, al hamduliiah we can afford all dailylife expenses but we encounter a problem in occasions like Eid. During in Eid our relatives travel abroad or go to the beach to enjoy the occasion but we stay in our town because we don’t have enough expenses to travel here and there. By time, I began to notice that my children began to distance themselves from us accusing me and their father that we are not providing them with decent life like our relative and they as a result don’t enjoy the joy of Eid! What should I do?

Counselor

Answer


My Kids Don't Feel the Joy of `Eid, What to Do? - About Islam

In this counseling answer:

•You may want to take your kids to an area of town where the poorest of poor live during Eid. Instead of spending what money you were saving for them, have them spend it on others.

•Have them spend a few days there with the people doing acts of charity. In fact, engaging them in acts of charity on a regular basis will insha’Allah change their perspective and soften their hearts.

•Perhaps your local Masjid can direct you to needy communities or families wherein your children can spend their Eid serving others and doing other charitable deeds to help those less fortunate than them.


As-salamu alaykum,

I am sorry you are going through this with your children, sadly it is not an uncommon thing. We live in a very materialistic world and it has affected some of our children. It is not a reflection upon you nor your husband, but a reflection upon the society we live in as well as a child’s choice to put some things (material) above others (family).

I know it hurts and can make a parent sad, however, I kindly suggest that insha’Allah you try to focus on all the things you do and can do for your children which are within your means. You sound like wonderful parents and there is nothing wrong with not being able to afford to travel to and from. I don’t know a lot of people who do have that luxury.

You may want to take your children to an area of town where the poorest of poor live during Eid. Instead of spending what money you were saving for them, have them spend it on others. Have them spend a few days there with the people doing acts of charity.

My Kids Don't Feel the Joy of `Eid, What to Do? - About Islam

In fact, engaging them in acts of charity on a regular basis will insha’Allah change their perspective and soften their hearts. It seems to me you and your husband have given them a very good life-one they are not grateful for.

They need to see and experience through the lives of others what true deprivation is. Perhaps your local Masjid can direct you to needy communities or families wherein your children can spend their Eid serving others and doing other charitable deeds to help those less fortunate than them.

Lastly, while I do not know their ages, often times children do go through a selfish stage wherein they want to live life as they see others living, forgetting about the blessings they do have.


Check out this counseling answer:

This phase often passes with maturity and a child’s cognitive development. However, I do feel that insha’Allah having them see how others live who truly do without and doing regular acts of charity and giving-they will come down a few notches concerning their arrogance, insha’Allah.

You are in our prayers, please let us know how things turn out.

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Aisha Mohammad

Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word poetry projects.

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