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My Kids Don’t Feel the Joy of `Eid, What to Do?

26 April, 2022
Q Dear counselor, I need your advice, we are a poor family, al hamduliiah we can afford all daily life expenses but we encounter a problem on occasions like Eid.

During Eid we stay in our town because we don’t have enough expenses to travel here and there.

By the time, I began to notice that my children began to distance themselves from us accusing me and their father that we are not providing them with decent life like our relatives, and they as a result don’t enjoy the joy of Eid!

What should I do?

Answer

In this counseling answer:

•You may want to take your kids to an area of town where the poorest of poor live during Eid. Instead of spending what money you were saving for them, have them spend it on others.

•Have them spend a few days there with the people doing acts of charity.

•Perhaps your local Masjid can direct you to needy communities or families wherein your children can spend their Eid serving others.


As-salamu alaykum,

I am sorry you are going through this with your children, sadly it is not an uncommon thing. We live in a very materialistic world and it has affected some of our children. It is not a reflection upon you nor your husband, but a reflection upon the society we live in as well as a child’s choice to put some things (material) above others (family).

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I know it hurts and can make a parent sad, however, I kindly suggest that insha’Allah you try to focus on all the things you do and can do for your children which are within your means. You sound like wonderful parents and there is nothing wrong with not being able to afford to travel to and from. I don’t know a lot of people who do have that luxury.

You may want to take your children to an area of town where the poorest of poor live during Eid. Instead of spending what money you were saving for them, have them spend it on others. Have them spend a few days there with the people doing acts of charity.

In fact, engaging them in acts of charity on a regular basis will insha’Allah change their perspective and soften their hearts. It seems to me you and your husband have given them a very good life-one they are not grateful for.

They need to see and experience through the lives of others what true deprivation is. Perhaps your local Masjid can direct you to needy communities or families wherein your children can spend their Eid serving others and doing other charitable deeds to help those less fortunate than them (It is important to maintain social distancing rules while doing so).

Lastly, while I do not know their ages, oftentimes children do go through a selfish stage wherein they want to live life as they see others living, forgetting about the blessings they do have.


Check out this counseling answer:

This phase often passes with maturity and a child’s cognitive development. However, I do feel that insha’Allah having them see how others live who truly do without and doing regular acts of charity and giving-they will come down a few notches concerning their arrogance, insha’Allah.

You are in our prayers, please let us know how things turn out.

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.