I have been going to mosque all these years, but ever since I took her, she has visited neither her church nor the mosque.
I have tried to convince her to join my religion, but she refuses, and I know that there is no way I can join Christianity. We have a son who is four years old now, and I know that at a certain age he will have problems choosing where to go and pray if we do not solve this problem now.
What should I do from the Islamic point of view to fish myself out of this problem?
Answer
In this counseling answer:
•Islam allows Muslim men to marry righteous women from the People of the Book in an interfaith marriage. But there is no compromise on that the children must be raised as Muslims.
•You have to realize that not only is it the child’s right to be raised as a Muslim, but in fact, it is your duty to spend of your time, energy, and money to make sure that he is raised as a Muslim!
•Please do not delay talking to your wife and ensuring her full commitment to raising your son, and all future children, as Muslims!
As-Salamu ‘Alaykum,
Thank you so much for writing to us. Let us be clear right from the start. Even though Islam allows Muslim men to marry righteous women from the People of the Book, there is no compromise on two fronts:
•The children must be raised as Muslims.
•The household must be conducted according to Islamic teachings.
Interfaith Marriage
Your son is four years old now, and some might argue that it is already too late to worry about his Islamic upbringing.
We welcome your concern for your son and assure you that it is never too late to raise your child as a Muslim.
However, you have to be serious about doing so. You have to realize that not only is it the child’s right to be raised as a Muslim, but in fact, it is your duty. You have to spend of your time, energy, and money to make sure that he is raised as a Muslim!
No matter how much time and energy you exert, realize that the child will spend considerable time with his mother. Therefore, a more urgent goal should be for you to make sure that your wife agrees with raising your child in an Islamic manner.
Raising your son as a Muslim
If even if she herself does not want to become a Muslim, she will have to read books to him about Islam. So she can encourage him in due time to pray and keep up other obligations.
She should not expose him to Christian beliefs by taking him to church with her. If she does not wish to go to the mosque, she should at least facilitate her son being able to get there. Either with a Muslim neighbor or with you!
You will have to be involved continuously. And make sure that you are also shouldering your share of the responsibility to help raise your son as a Muslim.
In the end, however, you should realize that Allah Most High will hold you responsible for how well you discharge your duties as a parent to your son.
Please do not delay talking to your wife. You need to ensure her full commitment to raising your son, and all future children, as Muslims!
Check out this counseling video
Make lots of du`aa’ to Allah to incline your wife’s heart towards raising your child as a Muslim. And ultimately becoming a Muslim herself!
Respect your wife all along and support her in helping you raise your child as a Muslim in sha’ Allah!
And Allah knows best.
Salam,
***
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
Read more