My question is, what will be my stand to this? What name should I give my daughter, and deep inside, I really wanted to fix the relationship of my daughter and her father.
What should I do? Or what action should I take? I understand that the religion of my child will be Islam and I don’t really have a problem with that because even though I am a Christian, I have little knowledge about Islam.
The majority of my friends are Muslims and they have the most genuine hearts. Please send me some advice.
In this counseling answer:
•Your child’s father does have the right to be in his child’s life unless he is a threat or harm to the child
•I kindly suggest that you do to learn more about Islam so you can help guide your child as your child grows.
•You may wish to go to the Masjid with your friends, learn the fundamentals of Islam.
•Please do give your child a wonderful name that will reflect the attributes and nice qualities you wish for your child.
As-salaam alaikum sister,
Thank you for writing to us. As I understand, you were out of the country for a while, and now you were back home. You are going to have a baby soon.
The father of your baby is Muslim. As you did not indicate the nature of your relationship with him, nor did you indicate why he is not involved despite not being together. I will do my best insha’Allah to address your concerns Allah willing.
Depending on the circumstances, your child’s father does have the right to be in his child’s life unless he is a threat or harm to the child.
I am not sure what your situation with him is- if he said he would not be in your daughter’s life, or if he wanted to be but was unsure due to other factors? If he said he would not be, this is not Islamic. He supposed to take care of his child.
A father is to help his child to grow emotionally, mentally, financially as well as Islamic ally. If it is that he does want to be in her life and distance is a problem, perhaps he can visit, skype her, talk to her on the phone and so forth.
Cannot Force Father to be in Child’s Life
If your daughter’s father does not want to be in her life that is sad, but there is no way to make him be a part of her life. That choice will be between him and Allah, and he will likely regret it as he realizes the great blessing he missed out on watching her grow up.
Sister, if he has chosen to not be in her life, there is no way that you can really push the issue and force him to be. If you were to do so, it may cause more harm for your child (and you emotionally) than if you just left the situation alone.
Read also: Child Custody: Father or Non-Muslim Mother?
Also, depending on what country he is in, it may be very difficult to get child support for your baby. You would have to check out the laws in that country and this country regarding child support if you chose. I know this is not what you asked but every child deserves to be financially supported by their parents (both) if they are able. He may refuse.
Not all Muslims will follow Islam fully, and some may avoid financial responsibilities concerning their children. This is because as Muslims we are human and prone to the same sins and mistakes as everyone else.
Check out this counseling video
Raising your Child as Muslim
Your decision to raise your child as a Muslim is admirable as you yourself are Christian. May Allah bless and guide you sister. Insha’Allah I kindly suggest that you do to learn more about Islam so you can help guide your child as your child grows.
If you raise your child as Muslim, that would mean your child would go to the Masjid for prayers, learn about Islam, and follow Islamic ways. As you already have friends who are Muslim they may be able to assist you with this, but it is best that you learn more about Islam so you will have a deeper knowledge of Islam and be able to help guide your child.
You may wish to go to the Masjid with your friends, learn the fundamentals of Islam. Like how to pray, what the beliefs are and so forth. You will be most welcomed.
Naming of Child
In regard to naming your child, you may name your child anything you would like! It is your choice. There are Muslims who have reverted to Islam and kept their birth names. Having an Islamic name it is not required.
The only instance when it may be required to change a name is if the name means something that is Haram (bad). Please do give your child a wonderful name that will reflect the attributes and nice qualities you wish for your child whether it be Arab, African, European, or other. The point is, Islam is a universal religion worldwide and Arab names are not required.
Admiring your Openness
Sister, I admire your insight, concern, and openness regarding your child and Islam. Please do seek to encourage your child’s father to be a part of her life one more time. If he refuses, let it go and give it to Allah. If you desire and are able, seek child support for your child.
Please gain in-depth Islamic knowledge if you plan to raise your child as a Muslim. Attend Islamic events, go to the Masjid to learn and ask your friends for guidance as the need comes up.
As you are Christian, please do pray to Allah as well for guidance. Congratulations on your baby.
We wish you the best.
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.