We as children just wanted the gift aspect. I also wanted to enjoy the Santa phase so I now bring out the ‘`Eid tree’ and hang candy on it. It comes out at `Eid and goes back in the box two weeks later. My children know this as the `Eid tree. Is this acceptable? I teach my children to respect different peoples’ religions, but to cherish theirs.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
•While we respect other religions and some Muslims may partake in some of the holiday festivities from a cultural and traditional perspective, we are not to participate in any of the religious rituals.
•I would kindly suggest that you keep that tree just for Eid. As the children know this tree is for Eid, it would be confusing for them if they thought it was also for a Christmas celebration.
•Please continue to teach your children as you have been-with respect for other religions, but also teach them where to draw the line when it comes to partaking in other religious holidays and festivities
As-Salamu `Alaykum sister,
Shokran for writing to our live session. As I understand your question you are speaking about an Eid tree that you use for Eid to hang candy on. You stated that it comes out on Eid and goes back into the box two weeks later, and your children know this is the Eid tree. You want to know if this is acceptable.
Learning More About Islam
Historically you are an American Muslim born into a Muslim family. You are recently learning more about Islam and you have started to pray. Your children go to an Islamic school and have been learning about Islam as well. As it is Christmas time I am thinking that your question is referring to Christmas, the Christmas tree and your Eid tree, but I am not sure. Please forgive me.
Eid Trees and Christmas Trees
As with other Muslims, it is possible that you had previous celebrations of Christmas in a cultural-traditional context with friends or family members and your current concern about this Christmas, is whether the children will be confused seeing Christmas trees, as they associate trees and gifts with Eid. I am not sure of their ages, but perhaps this is the first Christmas holiday that they will be aware of trees other than Eid trees. Muslims celebrate Eid in many festive ways. Some hang lights, some put up trees, some decorate their entire home. There are many ways in which Muslims get festive for Eid. If you are unsure regarding Islamic rulings on trees for Eid (I am not an Islamic Scholar), please do consult our “Ask the Scholar” section.
Seeing Christmas Festivities or Partaking in Festivities
In regard to possibly celebrating Christmas, if you have been celebrating Christmas with friends of family in the past in a cultural context, meaning there is no religious aspect to it, then there is no harm.
Aboutislam states that “Muslims are allowed to share with non-Muslims in their joyous occasions, wishing them happy holidays, even send greeting cards to your Christian friends, relatives or neighbors. If they give you gifts, you should thank them and accept them with good cheer and should also remember them at the times of Islamic holidays. Therefore, there is nothing in Islam that prevents you from being with your family during Christmas, at least to show them that you are part and parcel of them even after your conversion to Islam.”
Additionally, ’ the Qur’an states “Keep their company with kindness in this world, and follow the path of him who turns to Me.Then unto Me will you return, and I shall tell you what you did.” (Luqman 31:15)”
Therefore it is advised to “accept invitations from your family, share their happy times with them, and eat any kind of permissible food with them, which excludes pork, intoxicants, and that which has been dedicated to idols. Also, you should not participate in any religious rituals associated with non-Muslim beliefs.”.
If you are concerned that the children will be confused about the holiday given they associate a tree with Eid, I would kindly advise that you speak with them about the similarities and differences between Eid and Christmas celebrations, your use of a tree for Eid (and why), as well as define your expectations of them concerning any participation in Christmas festivities. Insha’Allah, please ensure the children fully understand the differences, as well as their religious obligations for Eid. There are many wonderful children’s books on this topic.
Growing in Islam-Changing Holiday Formats
As you and your family are learning more about Islam and you do have a dedicated Eid tree, I would kindly suggest that you keep that tree just for Eid. As the children know this tree is for Eid, it would be confusing for them if they thought it was also for a Christmas celebration.
If you do participate in family or friends oriented traditional celebrations for Christmas, I kindly suggest ensuring that the children know the difference. Like you, your husband, and children are growing in Islam, if you did (or plan to) partake in festivities, perhaps it is best to do so out of your home as everyone in your home-is Muslim. Perhaps now is the time to reaffirm Islamic holidays as our holidays.
Check out this counseling video
Teaching Children
I admire how you are teaching your children. You stated that you teach your children to respect other people’s religions but to cherish ours. That is an Islamic trait which is very valuable. As we expect others to respect our religion, we are to respect theirs.
Conclusion
While we respect other religions and some Muslims may partake in some of the holiday festivities from a cultural and traditional perspective, we are not to participate in any of the religious rituals. Your children must understand this. Please continue to teach your children as you have been-with respect for other religions, but also teach them where to draw the line when it comes to partaking in other religious holidays and festivities. There is a balance, I am sure you will do a wonderful job with your children regarding this.
We wish you the best.
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