Answer
In this counseling post:
- Your daughter’s behavior can be a sign that something really bothers her. It can be a form of seeking help and attention from you.
- Find a way to get closer to her to be able to get in touch with her feelings and thoughts.
- Talk about her feelings about his father, about yours, and maybe about the whole situation if that has not happened before.
Wa alaikom sister,
Thank you for writing.
Your daughter’s behavior can be a sign that something really bothers her. It can be a form of seeking help and attention from you.
I am not sure, but, as you said, you raised her alone. This can be very hard, especially if you have to balance your work with your parenting.
Enough Time Together
So my question would be whether you can spend enough time together. I mean, do you spend quality time together and pay attention to each other?
If you think that may not be the case, I kindly advise you to find a way to get closer to her to be able to get in touch with her feelings and thoughts.
As she is a teenager, you can expect intense reactions and rejection for your first attempts, but do not give up.
Do Not Force or Pressure
Keep trying without being pushy or forcing her, as this can be counterproductive, especially at this age.
So, try your best not to reprimand her or remind her of her faults and missed prayers.
At the same time, continue with your worship and show her the example of finding comfort in prayer in times of distress.
You can start with an honest talk about letting her know that you are worried about her and would like to spend more time with her.
You can talk about yourself too, sharing your feelings and what bothers you. Tell her that you’re feeling stressed, miss your work hours, and so on.
What About the Father?
Aslo, I am not sure what happened to her father. Did you separate? Does she see him frequently? Could his absence be a source of distress for her?
Does she miss her father, who “doesn’t really care”? Talk about her feelings, yours, and maybe the whole situation if that has not happened before.
Another tip is to ask her help with some smaller tasks; try to involve her in some activity you do. Or invite her to a program you think she will like.
Bond with Her
This idea would serve as an opportunity to bond, to talk, and to spend time together without talking about what she does wrong.
Give her time, and maintain your open attitude and willingness despite her negative reactions; that will mean a lot for her in terms of feeling loved and secure with you.
Just make her feel comfortable with you, and, in sha Allah, with time, she will open up more and talk about her struggles.
Then you can advise her and offer emotional support if needed.
May Allah make it easy for you.
Read more:
- Cannot Please My Parents; I Don’t Want to Be Like Them
- I’ve Hurt My Mum; How to Control Anger & Gain Back Her Trust?
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