A Convert Sister: How Can I Establish An Islamic Home?

28 October, 2019
Q Salam aleikum. I would like some advice about establishing an Islamic environment in the home. I am a single convert with no Muslim family and I live alone. Articles on this subject always seem to assume the reader is married with children and/or comes from a Muslim family, but stuff like "pray together", "have iftar and suhoor together in Ramadan", etc, isn't doable for someone in my situation. What actions can someone living alone take? Thank you for your time.

Answer

In this counseling answer:

•I would kindly suggest that if you are near an Islamic community that you attend the Masjid regularly and get to know some sisters there.

•Strive to build lasting friendships as our sisters can be our greatest source of strength and encouragement.

•In fact for many sisters who are single, they are family to each other, especially in the west as there are so many single Muslim reverts.

•Get into the habit of devoting a portion of your day or night for reading the Qur’an, doing dzkhir, praying and seeking to always strengthen your relationship with Allah SWT.

•Others create an Islamic environment by listening to nasheeds or Islamic lectures on the computer.

•If you have the room, creating a prayer room is always a blessing.


As salamu alaykum sister,

 

Shokran for writing in to our live session. Your question is one of utmost importance as it is relevant to so many as there are a lot of Muslims who are reverts and living alone. In fact around the time of Ramadan, it is one of the frequently asked questions.

While it can be joyful to see and hear of all the families praying together, going to Islamic events together, enjoying Ramadan and holiday festivities with family as well as creating an Islamic home for all to enjoy, what about the single Muslim’s who do not have Muslim families?

This is a challenge for some, however insha’Allah all it takes is some creative adjustments as well as a little bit of reaching out within the community. I would kindly suggest sister that you begin from within. That would include getting into the habit of devoting a routine of your day or night for reading the Qur’an, doing dzkhir, praying and seeking to always strengthen your relationship with Allah SWT.

A Convert Sister: How Can I Establish An Islamic Home? - About Islam

If you have not and you are able, begin to buy books on Islam, the Prophet’s (PBUH) life, and other reading material that will be educational, uplifting, encouraging and life changing.

A really good book which changed my life was given to me by a dear friend. It is called “The Sealed Nectar” . After I read about our beloved Prophet’s (PBUH) life and all his struggles, his love and compassion for others, his losses and blessings-it made me feel not so alone as a new Muslim and the only Muslim in my family. It gave me strength and increased my iman.

Once you establish an inner routine of spiritual food, next work on your environment-your home. There are many ways to create an Islamic home from having pretty prayer rugs folded on chairs, hanging up Islamic pictures, and decorating with middle eastern lanterns or other Islamic art.


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You may also choose to keep your books nearby in the living room for a ready read while you are resting on the couch. Others create an Islamic environment by listening to nasheeds or Islamic lectures on the computer. If you have the room, creating a prayer room is always a blessing (I always wished for an extra bedroom for this). It can a prayer room as well as be your Islamic sanctuary.

Socially sister, I would kindly suggest that if you are near an Islamic community that you attend the Masjid regularly and get to know some sisters there. Strive to build lasting friendships as our sisters can be our greatest source of strength and encouragement.

You will insha’Allah enjoy cooking dinners together, or going out for a bite to eat, tea times, girl chat and have fun together as families do. In fact for many sisters who are single, they are family to each other, especially in the west as there are so many single Muslim reverts. You can also attend the Masjid for iftars, Suhoor, and other Ramadan activities and prayers.

If you live in an area where there are not any Masjids you can join groups online which specialize in single Muslim reverts. Just be careful which sites you join sister as you want to keep your social and educational pursuits halal. Facebook may have some good groups for single sisters who build friendships online as they have no family or Islamic support system due to location or other reasons.

A friend of mine actually traveled to another state to meet a group of sisters she had become friends with on a Facebook group for Muslim sisters and they celebrated Eid together at one of the centrally located Masjids. All the sisters had a wonderful time and bonded closely.

You may also want to take classes at your local college in Islamic studies (if available) or Arabic language. You might insha’Allah meet other sisters there or even find a Muslim Student Union in which you can become a part of. If this is not possible, you can take courses on line. A good university is the Islamic Online University (IOU)  which is highly recommended by many worldwide. The courses are offered for free with a one time very low fee based by country.

Creating an Islamic home, environment and enjoying and feeling part of an Islamic community is a vital part of being Muslim. Being Muslim, single and alone does not have to mean you will miss out on the precious blessings of having an Islamic home, participating in Ramadan with others, celebrating Eid with your community or living a life void of Islamic influences. You can create an Islamic home-and life in all aspects, just trust in Allah and utilize creative measures!

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information that was provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, it’s volunteers, writers, scholars, counselors, or employees be held liable for any direct, indirect, exemplary, punitive, consequential or other damages whatsoever that may arise through your decision or action in the use of the services which our website provides.  

Read more:

I Want the Right Value System for My Children

Fear of Raising My Child in the West

A Convert Sister: How to Raise My Children to be Muslims?

 

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach.
Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.