I Am An Exhausted Mum of Two, Please Help

13 July, 2020
Q I'm a mother with 2 girls, the elder is going to school grade 4, and the second is three years old.

I feel very tired and exhausted, as in the morning I get up early to prepare their things and in the main time I finish the household things and take care of the younger daughter.

But now I feel very TIRED and I can not continue for long. Please Help.

Answer

In this counseling answer:

•Structur your schedule so that you make some time for yourself during the day. Perhaps if your younger daughter takes a nap, you can nap too.

Try rearranging your chores-for instance instead of preparing her things in the morning, prepare as much as you can at night after the children have gone to bed.

•To make a list of the things that she does during the day, cross off things that can wait for the weekend, or for when she has a family/husband around to help.

•Get a checkup from her doctor to ensure she is not lacking in vitamins or minerals and to ensure her health is optimal.


As-salamu alaykum sister,

You have your hands full dear sister and I can totally relate to your fatigue as I am a mother myself. It is a full-time job and then some!

Often what is helpful is if you can engage other family members or friends to help out with the chores or children.

Often times at Masjids they have “mothers” groups wherein sisters who have young children meet and have tea while their children play, or they take turns helping each other out by watching each other’s children on alternating days so mom’s can have a rest.

Make some time for yourself 

If this is not possible, I would kindly suggest structuring your schedule so that you make some time for yourself during the day.

Perhaps if your younger daughter takes a nap, you can nap too. Try rearranging your chores-for instance instead of preparing her things in the morning, prepare as much as you can at night after the children have gone to bed.

I Am An Exhausted Mum of Two, Please Help - About Islam

Make a list

That way you do not have to get up as early. Also, make a list of the things that you do during the day. Next, cross off things that can wait for the weekend, or for when you have family/husband around to help.

Often times as mothers, we feel everything must get done every single day-and that is just not always possible, so insha’Allah, prioritize.

Get a checkup

Lastly dear sister, get a check up from your doctor to ensure you’re not lacking in vitamins or minerals and to ensure your health is optimal.

While it is normal to be tired after having children as your youngest is still only 2 years old, sometimes our hormonal or nutritional levels may be off especially if we breastfed.

Sometimes something as simple as changing our diet and exercising can make all the difference in how we feel.

Look into holistic nutrition websites designed for mothers, especially mothers with young children as we use up a lot of energy reserves just chasing a toddler around!


Check out this counseling video


Conclusion

Rest assured what you are experiencing is normal. The feelings of fatigue will soon pass sister but do take care of yourself by reducing your chores, arranging things in a way that optimizes your time as well as enlisting the help of family members or sisters at the Masjid.

And lastly dear sister, get a checkup to ensure your nutrition is spot on.

Salam

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach.
Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.