My Son Acts Like A Girl. I Am Worried!

01 December, 2019
Q As-salamu `Alaykum. I’m a mother of 4 kids, 3 girls, and one boy. My son who is 7-year-old acting as if he is a girl, not a boy. I noticed that he likes to do everything like his sisters; he wants to wear like them and loves to play with dolls of his sisters. He refuses to sleep alone in his bed only beside his elder sister. He loves to play with nieces and other girls than boys. I began to worry about this, I understand his surrounded by girls but I’m worried and need your advice?

Answer

In this counseling answer:

•They usually outgrow it after a few years as I suspect your son will. The less you mention it, or ask him about it, the sooner it may dissipate.

•Often times when we put a great emphasis on something we don’t prefer, it makes the child go harder towards that behavior or goal.

•As long as it is not haram behavior, I would try re-socializing him by having play dates with other boys, have his dad, grandfathers or uncles spend more time with him.


As salamu alaykum sister,

Your concerns are common. Often times as children develop they can take on the interests and mannerisms of the environment and people in which they are around. In your son’s case, he was surrounded by girls most of the time.

On the other side, often little girls play with boy’s toys, climb trees, prefer boys’ clothes, and for lack of a better term-they are “tomboys”!

They usually outgrow it after a few years as I suspect your son will. The less you mention it, or ask him about it, the sooner it may dissipate. Often times when we put a great emphasis on something we don’t prefer, it makes the child go harder towards that behavior or goal.

My Son Acts Like A Girl. I Am Worried! - About Islam

As long as it is not haram behavior, I would try re-socializing him by having play dates with other boys, have his dad, grandfathers or uncles spend more time with him.

You may be able to generally recondition his tendencies by having male friends and family take an interest in him and do things with him that he finds enjoyable. Also insha’Allah, enroll him in boys groups and classes at an Islamic Center or your local Masjid so he can develop new interests and make lasting friendships with other boys his age.

And don’t worry too much, this phase will insha’Allah pass soon enough!

Salam

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach.
Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.